Our son 28 years s/abused his sister who was 11, years old at the time, he then made false allegations to the Police about me s/abusing him as a child. I was questioned but not charged because it did not happen. He later made allegations that a worker involved with the family has touched him inappropriately.
I lived separately with my partner who has since passed away. When our son made the allegations against me it hurt badly. My late partner thought I would be arrested charged, sent to prison and I did not know what would happen.
Our son was eventually arrested, charged with the abuse of his sister but got not guilty later at his trial. My ex said I should sort thins out with him, he is “still your son” however, I can’t forgive him what he done to me and my partner.
I don’t know he’s motive for what he did but it is pretty sick thing to do!
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Your ex wife has a point. He is still your son. You owe it to yourself to try to move on. It won't be easy, and you have to want to. The first thing you need to find out is why he made allegations against you. It sounds like he was seeking your attention, or trying to retaliate against you for something. He may have been traumatized because you moved out and were no longer with his mother. He may have felt abandoned. He may have made up the worst thing that could have happened in his mind because he wanted to make you evil to justify you not being there. There are millions of reasons that could help explian why he did what he did.
I think family counseling would do you all wonders. You can get closure and begin to move on past your hurt and anger. You (and he) can help discover the reasons why he has done the things he has done. You can also see that he has grown, and has changed. He may be very sorry for all that has happened, and may want to reach out to you- but you have been so cold and distant he doesn't know how.
You owe it to yourself, and your son, to try to fix things. That doesn't mean it won't take years and lots of effort from both parties. But the anger is resentment is also holding you back in your own life!
Yes I agree that your son is sick. If he had cancer or aids would you abandon him? He will always be your son no matter what hurtful things that he says or does.
Actually forgiving him is for you not him. Once you can forgive him then you can move on from the hurt and anger that you feel. It would be a good idea that you keep in touch so you can keep an eye on him. Intervene if you think he is getting close to another child.
Well, you've gotten a few possible interpretations right here. Are you Christians? Due to the fact as a Christian challenge, the brand new testament does say that a person's physique belongs to his wife and a girl's body belongs to her husband. It also says that spouses must no longer deprive one a further sexually when you consider that that leads to temptation. (I Corinthians 7) As a ways a legal matter, anyone has the proper to say no, and to disregard that and force the opposite person is rape. As a realistic subject, if you are consistenly telling your partner no, or in case you are pressuring your partner to have intercourse when he/she would not wish to, you will not be married lengthy. In some states, if you happen to refuse to consent to intercourse for an extended period of time, your partner can sue you for divorce on the grounds of desertion. The thought right here is that although you are living in the identical condominium, in case you are not gratifying marital commitments, then you have abandoned the marriage.
It really seems like this is your own struggle. Nobody can tell you what to do about it because it's your relationship and your child. As for his sister, i hope you won't allow the abuser to see the victim until she's eighteen and old enough to seek him out on her own to get her own answers. As much as we hate to admit it, some kids are just born bad and there's no reasoning behind it. This is ultimately your choice and nobody can make it for you. If you're ready to accept your son into your life, you should reach out to him. If you can't forgive him or what he's done, you're better off just letting him go. I'm not going to preach forgiveness to you, but I am going to tell you of the simple fact that living your life with regrets is the fool's path. If you really don't need answers, and only you can know that, you've got nothing to say to him. If you do, and only you know if you do, you owe it to yourself to resolve those unanswered questions, or they'll haunt you for the rest of your life.
Honestly, he is still your son but he made allegations about you that were lies and were the worse possible accusation to make against a parent.
In this situation I think your fully grown, adult son should make the first move and apologise and then you can decide whether or not you wish to accept that apology.
Personally, it would take a lot to make me believe he was genuinely sorry.
I understand what your son did was not right and you have EVERY reason to be upset, hurt and angry...
But your ex is right.... As much as you might hate to admit it, he is still your flesh and blood. He is still a part of you. Your genes are still in him..
Now he is 28 years old. You don't have to support him or anything, nor do you have to see him or talk to him if you don't want to, but that doesn't change anything. He is still your son.
He is sick in the head.
Whether or not you can forgive him is up to you but it's not like the ex wife is wrong.
If he is your biological son, nothing can change THAT.
he is your bio son, even with all that he did..even with not having a relationship he is still your son..totally understand why you don't have an relationship with you son..
What's this "partner"? Is this a gay thing?
And what's a "s/abused"?
Wow.