So to start off, me and my boyfriend are both 21 and have been dating for over 2 years. We love each other a lot, have a great relationship and will be moving into our own apartment next month. There has just been one thing that has caused problems for us: his mom. Literally the first time I ever spoke to her this woman told me “not to come between her and her son.” She said it as a joke, but this honestly just sums up all my experiences with her from that point on. She has done a lot of immature and childish things over the past couple years, but it has NEVER been instigated by me in any way and any arguments that have happened have been between her and my bf. I’ve never been anything but nice to her, tolerated her childishness without saying anything at all, and we’ve even had talks where she’s said that she’s happy her son found someone like me. So fast forward to a couple weeks ago, and she goes into my boyfriend’s job and apparently has a break down in front of his coworker saying I stole her from her son. His coworker was freaked tf out and immediately told him the next shift he worked. This woman is literally insane and I don’t know what I ever did to deserve being treated like a villain. All I ever did was date her son and try to let her know I wanted things to be good between me and her but she seemed to be against me from the start. I know my bf loves me and that’s all that matters, but what approach should I take if any with this situation?
Answers & Comments
avoid her
He clearly needs to have a few discussion with his Mom. This is HIS issue, not yours.
If he's moving out of his parent's house and in with you without having had his own place for at least year... might be a mistake. If you are moving out of your parents house and immediately in with him without having been on your own .. might be a mistake for you too. I wish you both well though.
Here's the thing, If he lives with his Mom then she feels he's her baby. Because he is. And that he's leaving her arms for yours. Which, if he lives with her, he is. But if he'd lived on his own for a year or two and become a man in his own right.. it's highly unlikely she'd be acting this way at all. She doesn't respect him as his own man because, to her, he hasn't' shown himself to be his own man. This is not an issue you need to get involved in.
Sorry. Hate to break it to you, but there is no girl who is worthy of a son's affection that would come between him and his mom.
When I introduced my GF to my mom, my mom took an immediate dislike of her. She was a "California girl" and my mom fully expected me to come back to Ohio and settle down with a nice Ohio girl.
Long story, short: I was married to that California girl for 52 years until she passed away. And eventually my mom learned to treat my wife in a friendly way.
So my answer is this. Don't worry about it. Things will improve as his mom sees how happy her son is with you. Give it time.
Talk to your bf about this