My fiancé's ex keeps texting her. How do I handle this?
My fiances ex keeps texting her. She told me he has before, then I didn't hear about it for a while. I occasionally will check her phone (I know, I know), and that's when I seen his texts today. I didn't see any responses from her and I do trust her completely otherwise I wouldn't have agreed to marry her. It angers me because i know what his intentions are and I find it disrespectful. I've contemplated on a couple of things;
1. Message him telling him to back off or I'll tell his wife.
2. Message his wife explaining his behavior.
3. Block him from my fiance's phone without saying anything.
4. Not do anything and let whatever happen.
Any advice will help, I know I'm not the only one who has experienced this.
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Answers & Comments
Don't do anything. That's my advice. How she handles her life is a lesson for you. Not something for you to take on as your right of action. If you think that your fiance is likely to take up with a married ex-lover then WHY are you engaged? You really can't say you trust her and at the same time think you need to tell her married ex's WIFE to tell him to leave her alone! Can't play both sides of the fence, sir.
Most phones allow you to block callers, and this includes text messages. Find out how her phone does that, then the next time he texts her, tell her about it and ask her to do it.
The thing is, it's really all about her. Even if you confronted the guy, he'd still do it (especially if he knew it was bugging you and he doesn't see you as a threat). So she has to want to stop receiving his texts. If she doesn't then you may need to throw in the ultimatum (you don't want to share her, if she doesn't want to stop getting his texts then she's apparently not ready for a commitment with you....).
It sounds like your wife is already handling it herself quite well by not responding. She has not asked for your help, so getting involved would only get you in trouble for snooping since her ex would certainly take advantage of the opportunity to throw you under the bus and cause more drama. I have had it happen and to be quite honest, snooping gives you a false sense of control over something that is entirely in their hands. You can't stop your spouse from cheating if they really made an effort to hide it from you, so you must trust her to handle the situation. Luckily it sounds like she did by not responding, since a response (even a bad one) is what her ex wants.
If you really trusted her "completely" you would not check her phone and you would let her handle the situation her way. She is your partner, you are not her parent, yet Your intentions say you are wanting to be a parent...wanting to marry her is not necessarily a sign of trust. Maybe her lack of response is her way of taking care of the situation,...It is not your place to text him. I have a friendship with my Ex, my boyfriend knows this and he is OK with it because he knows me, trusts me and if he ever checked my phone I would be quite angry. I know these things because at 60 I have been around the block and had a husband who wanted to be my parent not my partner...he is long gone
Just leave it alone. She's marrying YOU. Apparently he's unhappy in his current situation. It's his problem.
Your gf's phone and private messages aren't your business.
Ask your fiance to block him