Here are some Examples.

You Know It’s Nearing Christmas When:

Your Ghosts wear chains.

Three guys in robes get a ticket for riding camels on a highway.

Your credit card begins to melt from slide friction.

You’ve made it through Hanukkah and all the kid’s questions.

The kids keep asking if Solstice is like Santa.

The kids keep asking how Santa Claus can get down your Faux fireplace.

The kids start throwing away last year’s video games.

A young’un with size one feet wonders around with a size forty sock.

All the scotch tape disappears.

Your kids get weirded out when you bring a real tree into the house.

Your preteen green scolds you because you murdered a tree.

You spend hours trying to find the blown bulb in a dead string of lights.

Your spouse is nicer to you than he or she was for the last 362 days.

You spend hours seeking addresses of people who sent you Christmas cards last years.

You find weird hiding places for even weirder Christmas presents.

You spend hours figuring out what to get both sets of in-laws, that won’t split the family.

You try to explain to a 4 year old what jingle bells are.

You try to explain to a 4 year old why you don’t have a sleigh.

Your 4 year old sings the line“Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way,”for 6 hours.

You can’t get to sleep because your neighbor has a million watts of Christmas lights and doesn’t turn them off until 3 A.M.

Your 8 year old asks if Thor could whip Santa Claus.

The kids drag in a big “Yule” Log and put it in the gas firplace.