My girlfriend and fiancée of 5 years was kidnapped 2 months ago. We got her back a week later and I'm extremely happy that she's back. But while she was kidnapped they made her do curtain things I'm not okay with.
She was kidnapped by two of her co workers who are now in jail. But during that week she was with them they made her have sex with them. She told me that she didn't like it at first but by the second and third time she said she started to enjoy it. I ask her if it was rape and she told me yes at first but by the second or third the sex was mutual until the police found them.
She was a virgin and I am a virgin and now I can't look at her the same way. I mean I saved my virginity for her and she gave hers away maybe not by her choice but that didn't stop her from enjoying it.
I know I should just be happy that she's safe and I am it's just bothering me. I waited for my special someone and to hear her say she enjoyed sex with other men makes me sick. It’s like she cheated on me but not really
What do think of my situation? And any advice?
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
I think you both need counseling. yahoo answers is not the place for such a complicated issue. A professional therapist would be able to help both of you more than one on here
It was rape. And it wasn't exactly mutual...she was kidnapped and held against her will and dependent on them for her very life or from being beaten. I suggest you read about the Stockholm syndrome...where hostages begin to identify with their captors. If she "enjoyed" it, it was a coping mechanism to survive the ordeal.
It isn't as though she lost her virginity by choice. She did not give her virginity away. It was ripped from her.
You both need counseling.
She coped with a seriously terrible situation, the only way her brain would allow. So she was forced to have sex, you would have preferred she NOT enjoy it for all those days she was held?
Gee, what a thoughtful guy you are! I could imagine the conversation: "Yeah, hunny, you know those days you were held against your will, raped repeatedly, and then you started to enjoy the sex? Yeah, I would have much preferred you to have suffered and been in pain the entire time, because, you know, I saved myself for you, and the thought of you enjoying it and coming up with a way of coping with that craptastic situation, bothers me".
Stockholm Syndrome.
Stop for a minute a place yourself in her position. She had no say in her sexual encounter.She did not know what it would take to survive.She did not know when or if she would be rescued.Sex is very pleasurable weather you are volunteering or not. She has been honest with you.Stop being a selfish prick and start thinking about what you can do in a positive way to help her.
She enjoyed having sex with her kidnappers? Why would she even admit this? Wow. I agree with the other poster. I think you should both get counseling and put off getting married until you are sure about your feelings.
I think this situation is either fake, or if it is real, it is unusual enough that you are unlikely to find good help on Yahoo! Answers. Therefore, I suggest that you seek the advice of a therapist to help you deal with your concerns.