I’m 21 and got married when I was 18, I also became a father 6 months before then with the same women I was marrying. I’m sure you guessed it but it sorta felt like I was marrying because she had my daughter, we dated once before when I was 14 so in middle school but after we broke up didn’t talk to each other for years. I was 17 and we both were very into photography so we were suppose to go out and take pictures...that was how my daughter came to this word lol. So after that awkward situation we didn’t talk and I feel awful for it seeming I used her, which I didn’t. A few months back I was dating a girl that was actually that first girl I expressed myself with and it feel to ****, felt like it was going somewhere but felt like a kick in the balls. After that I didn’t want anything to do with a relationship so when she told me she was pregnant I really freaked we talked it over and just went on but trying to prepare for this to happen. She actually became preeclamptic so my daughter was born 2 months early and my wife was dating someone at the time and the thought of someone “fathering” my child made me mad. Even more when I heard him say “I am ready to a step father”. So after a day or so of her being born I basically tried to get her and did and we went from preparing for a child together to dating and then married. So it wasn’t very long to adjust to that. This May would make it three years being married, I don’t know if I’m married for the RIGHT reason.
Answers & Comments
If you got her pregnant, then you should have married her. If you didn't know if you wanted to marry her, you shouldn't have gotten her pregnant in the first place (it's simple enough that ANYBODY can prevent it). So, you're where you need to be. Do what you're supposed to do and get on with your lives.
It doesn’t matter if you married for the right reasons. Ask yourself do I love this woman? If yes then there you go. If no then you need to tell her she deserves to know. I’m gonna guess you do have feelings for her since you married her.
you may have not married for the right reasons but you can stay together and make a marriage for the right reasons. Go to couples counseling date get to know each other. You can make it work.
You need to get a DNA test to make sure you are the father. Get a divorce.
Never mind the right or wrong reasons, I feel that for you the marriage is not working out.
I think it's worth staying and trying to work this out. Maybe some counseling would help. But you obviously love your daughter and want the best for her. Usually, the best thing for a child is to be raised in a home with both of her biological parents, who are committed to making their relationship work. (Obviously I'm not including homes that are abusive or seriously dysfunctional.) You went to a lot of trouble to win your wife away from a man who apparently cared a great deal for her. Maybe, with some more of that kind of effort, you can learn to be happy together in your marriage.
Perhaps not but you clearly got married on purpose. With full intent and courtship. You surveyed the situation, saw the competition, took him out and set your own place. So it'll be hard to claim it was a "mistake". It's quite common for a married person to sit themselves down and have a talk with themselves and accept that they got married on purpose and decide how to proceed and what their character is. You were, both, likely very young and in over your heads. Still are. Might be able to face it up together and work it out and grow up together and raise your child well. Try counseling. For both of you.
From what I understand you married this woman cause she has you daughter correct?
I would say one of the reasons you might’ve married this woman is so you can be there for your daughter. You may of wanted to be with your daughter so that she knows she has a dad who loves her very much. I definitely know that I love having my dad around and maybe that’s what you want your daughter to have.
For the next reason don’t get mad but you might’ve married this woman so that you can raise your daughter yourself and not have to worry about some other man raising your kid. I know if I would do that.
Anyway if you truly love this woman and your daughter then of course your married for the right reason why wouldn’t you be. But if your only doing it for your daughter that’s for you to decide. I can’t tell you to get into a divorce with your wife, but if you are truly happy with your family I would stay married and enjoy the marriage with your wife and your daughter. Remember not all marriages or relationships are 100% perfect.
I hope this helps!
you can make it work if you want to.
Welcome to the real world. Do you really think that anybody else knows exactly what to do? Wing it.
No relationship is 100% perfect. If there is more good than bad, then hang in there. If there is more bad than good, then make a change. Don't forget to keep the little one's best interests in mind.