My Fiancée is a true Jekyll and Hyde, when she is happy she is truly the most loving, caring, selfless person I’ve known. She will do anything for anyone and this is the girl I fell in love with. The problem is that if she is low or something hasn’t gone her way she becomes Hyde & the exact opposite being cruel, selfish and uncaring. I know people can go through mood swings but it’s so extreme it’s unreal I really have had enough, we’ve been together for 7 years in May, for the first 4 years we lived an 1hr+ apart and only saw each other at weekends but spoke every night, she was occasionally off on the phone but nothing to this extreme. The extreme changes started not long after we moved in together, but it was, say, one day a month and I put it down to PMT. This carried on for about a year or so but got really bad around this time last year, we had a massive fall out after around 4 months of her being “Hyde” nearly all the time but found away through it and decided to move house.
Update:We were fine for around 3 months after the move and I thought she was back to her old self but for the last 3 months she has reverted to being her nasty side again. My problem is that I know if I end things she will be very hurt and so will I as I really do love her and I will feel really guilty and alone - What should I do
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get rid
well the engagement period is a time to "feel out" the POSSIBILITY of marriage. take a look at all her pros and cons see which one outweighs the other...and THEN look at all of the cons, see if you are willing to live with a person who possesses all of these traits. REALIZE you can NOT change a person. and very Rarely does a person change (without meds or counseling)
understand that you may be in a relationship with a person who has a personality disorder...will they admit that they have the problem? if not you will be living with it for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. marriage is forever, divorce should not be a simple fix. think about it really hard before you say i do.
if you dont take that time you will be one of the sad married men who come to my job (strip club) for attention because they are miserable at home. or even worse you will have kids and be stuck and end up cheating on your wife and cause unnecessary drama.
i deal with this every week and i wish people would ask more questions and seek advice before taking the plunge. i also truly believe that you will be 100% positive that you should get married when the time is right...and you will have doubts when the time is not right. TAKE IT SLOW
You need to sit down and talk to her, she may not realise that she's like this. There will be a deeper reason to her mood changes, it's unlikely she's simply a nasty character and there's a chance she could get some kind of help to balance her moods. If you genuinely care for her and think the relationship (when she's not Hyde) is worth salvaging then have a talk, give it time and help her through.
I'm going through the same problem but its with my boyfriend. We have been together 6 1/2 years and I just ended it. I couldn't stand it anymore. He is really hurt but you need to think of your own happiness first and foremost.
Sounds like she might need to see a doctor, it could be a medical disorder. I wish you luck and I hope things are worked out for the best for both of you.
you might not want to do this but even if ur not a follower of christ (i use that becuz christian has taken on a very negative term these days) just pray for her. i will pray for you too becuz love is the most important thing in the entire earth. really do take this suggestion into account. i hope i helped man. she might be bipolar or she could have had a bad past but yeah just say a small prayer every night for god to show you what to do. please. if it doesnt work out god means for you and her to be with different people. see ya mate.
Talk to her my man talk
Sit her down or like u said u talk in bed- do that, ask her whatsup and why shes like that, tell her she's changed, everything you wanna say that c'd be your chance 2 say it. Maybe she's tired of you who knows or maybe she just cant keep up with the new lifestyle, i mean livin with ya and all
Talk 2 her and if it dont work out try it againg. Still dont help tell her you quittin on her maybe then she'll know that ure really serious and she'll change but if nuthin happens then just bounce- u c'd do better than that
The old adage " a leopard doesn't change it's spots" has been proved here.
It's for you to decide if you can live with her like this or not.... just remember, if you try and it just gets worse you will start resenting her, then hating her....
As a last resort, try to get her to the doctor to see if there is an underlying depression and what can be done about it.
give her the ultimatium that either she cops the hell on or you're outa there. All women can be moody and get narked etc but she seems to be having a problem with switching off.
She might just be having problems adjusting to living with you or something - talk to her and if she doesnt change after that id leave her - no point in you being miserable just to avoid upsetting her
xx
Maybe your fiancee is suffering from depression or slighty schizophrenia it is nothing to be ashamed of but this would explain the changes in moods. Perhaps you should sit her down and ask her what is wrong, people do not act this way for no reason. I wish you the best of luck x
Have you actually tried talking to her about it? It may sound stupid but this would be a good place to start, if she is impossible to talk to about it then it may be worth just cutting your loses and splitting up with her. I know that it's not a happy thing to do but you can't just stay with her to stop you both from being upset, you're obviously not happy so it's better to end it sooner rather than later.
talk to her about it (i'm guessing you've already tried that, but just in case you didn't...) and also, if talking doesn't seem to help, get some counseling - for her, as well as for the both of you together... seriously... you can also talk to some relatives of hers or something, ask them whether she's always been this way and whether perhaps there's an explanation, but chances are that will get back to her and she will just be more angry with you. hope things work out for you, because you've obviously had to put up with a lot!