It´s my roommate, she met a guy almost 3 years ago in a business deal. The guy was and is married and she knew it, but still they got along pretty well. He´s GI and she has told me he´s wife is GI also. They were stationed in Italy back then.
To my surprise she tells me they have been in touch as friends since once or twice a month. they now live in the US but across the country. She has shown me the communications and there´s no sign they write anything shady. He says he enjoys their friendship and communications, and that he´ll try to be more in contact with her. I have heard her talking to him in the phone, although I have not heard they talk sexual stuff. She denies having an emotional affair with him, she says they´re just friends and that he has told her he´s happily married. They´re friends in Facebook and myspace.
I don´t know, do you think she can still be friends with a guy married like that? She´s a good girl, I know and want the best for her, I know her family and wouldn´t like her to be involve into something wrong when she could be with someone better than that. Do you think she´s in danger or is just my imagination?
Update:Wel, now you mention it, I don´t think she knows his wife or vice versa. I mean she had shown me pics of them in myspace but when I asked if she knows her, she says he doesn´t like to talk about it, b/c he likes to keep it to himself and she won´t ask either.
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They're hardly having a torrid affair, are they? It is possible to be married and still have friends, marriage doesn't automatically preclude talking to half the world's population because they happen to be the opposite sex. I think you should stop worrying about your friend's behaviour, which seems perfectly reasonable.
Please don't be so judgemental of your poor friend!
This sounds like a completely sweet and innocent friendship. They have been in touch for 3 years once or twice a month, you have even SEEN the communication between them and acknowledge that there is nothing improper whatsoever. They simply get along well. Please don't make her feel bad for having such a lovely friend, just because he's married. Married people are allowed to have friends too ... he is not attempting to have an affair with her - it's obviously a relationship that is out in the open seeing as they are connected on social networking sites. Neither she nor her male friend appear to be doing anything wrong whatsoever. The fact that he is married is not a secret, and he even tells her he's happily married, so she is under no illusions. They have an internet connection and keep in touch via email and phone. It seems to me that they are maintaining a normal friendship. Good for them! And how very sad that it is subject to the scrutiny of judgemental outsiders simply because it's an opposite sex friendship.
I agree with "I dare you"...If the wife doesn't know then he's the one having the emotional affair. Its great if he's not dogging out his wife to your friend but not talking about her at all seems a little odd. Why not mention a major character in your life? As cliche as it sounds, his wife should be his best-friend and aware of all friends. Especially the single female ones. Its not about trust, its about respect.
Im from usa by the way. Im not married and I hate it. It feels awful even though the trashy ppl love it. I think married men stare for many reasons. Like maybe he would hav rather married her instead of her. Or he comparing his wife to these women. It rlly depends on the kind of guy he is. I hope this helps.
Does his wife know of their friendship?
Ask her...
If his wife doesn't know, then obviously he's hiding their friendship from her which makes it inappropriate.
Otherwise, why doesn't he introduce her to his wife so they can all be friends then???
sounds fishy to me... most married men don't just get female friends to talk to without having another motivation behind it...
There is an old song that says " just my imagination running away with me"........Who says a gal can't be friends with a married man ? And for the record what do you mean when you say "better than that" ?
Yes they can.
No secrets; no lies; and the boundaries between them are up to him and his wife.