I am a teenager in high school and I’ve been dating this guy for two years. Sometimes I want to have him over to my house but if my parents think that they’re even gonna have to leave the house for a second, they say no. They think that we’re gonna do something bad but they’ve left us alone before and we’ve never done anything to break their trust. When he’s in my room they make me leave the door open which I don’t have a problem with and we even leave it open if they do happen to leave the house. Also, many times if I ask if he can come over they never give me a direct answer and tend to just walk away from the conversation. I don’t want to ask multiple times because I know they’ll be more likely to say no if I hound them but asking more than once is the only way to get an answer! I need to get my parents to trust me so that we don’t need constant super vision all the time.
Update:I want to clear up that I’m not trying to get my parents to leave, I just want them to trust me if they did had to leave for any reason.
Answers & Comments
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Your parents are coming from a place of a mixture of fear and ignorance here, its a very moronic combination to be honest! They seem to think that the only place you could possibly have sex, is in your room, which is why they want you to keep the door open at all times with your boyfriend. What they fail to realise here is that there are any number of places you could have sex if you really wanted to, so, in reality, they may think they are stopping you, but they really aren't, if that makes any sense.
I think you need to be the mature one here and sit them down and tell them "what's what"! Let them know that if you really wanted to have sex with him you can, and them stopping you from having him over, won't curtail that risk. Let them know that you also respect them as parents, and that you would never have sexual intercourse in their house, this way, it demonstrates to them you are trustworthy, and they would have nothing to come back with,
It is not that they do not trust you: they just want to protect you.
Now is not always
You are in high school. You are lucky they let him in your room with the door open. In my house he wouldn't be allowed upstairs with you.
talk to them about this and good luck.
If you don't intend anything you can't already do with your parents at home, then what's the big deal about your parents being home? Please consider the ghastly things that can happen to vulnerable young women and be glad your have loving dependable protection from that sort of experience.
It's not a matter of "We don't trust you." It's a matter of "There isn't a boy in the world we trust THAT much." And they are right. No matter how well you think you know a man, there could be a side of him you don't know at all. Protect yourself and be grateful for your parents' protection. Better to be restricted than to be taken advantage of in some horrible way.
If you are a teenager and in high school you shouldn't be dating and your parents are right from not trusting you because you're dating when you're only a teenage and in hight school and you shouldn't date when you're only in high school or just a teenager you should date when you're 75 or older or 85 or older.
Perhaps you should ask THEM, instead of asking random strangers on the internet who don't know you or your parents?
Here are some general suggestions I make to younger teens in case you might get some helpful ideas from them. Ask to have a serious discussion with your parents about how they see things panning out in the coming months and years. It needs to be fairly rational, so if one of you becomes too emotional (e.g. angry) it would be best to time out and try again another time. Prepare in advance what you would like to say and ask: write a plan, even.
As you reach each birthday, for example, or each new school year, what rights, freedoms and responsibilities will you have? Chores, pocket money, curfews, dating, etc. will all come into it, obviously. You can't really expect something for nothing, so think about what you can put into the family and household as part of your negotiations as to what you can get.
If you are to grow into a responsible adult, it must be a gradual process: if they keep you wrapped up in cotton wool and then suddenly let you out of the box at eighteen, you won't have enough experience to know how to handle it.
That said, your parent(s) is/are responsible for your safety and welfare during this time: no doubt they love you and they themselves have the experiences you don't yet. Seeing things on t.v. and hearing your friends' (exaggerated?) stories aren't quite the same.
If they don't want to do this, ask them if they will please consider a plan and talk again in a week or so. All plans need to be a little flexible, as unexpected things can happen, of course.
Good Luck!
What they’re doing is normal. No one really
Likes the idea of their high school child being alone with their significant other. And at least they let you date; my mom wouldn’t have approved of me dating in highschool.
I’m 22, and my boyfriend is 29. Even when we are together at his parents’ house, we leave the door open and we don’t sleep in the same bed. It’s just a sign of respect.