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Step one is asking yourself what the real problem is for you. Is it the money? Is it having his parents involved? Is it the actual number of people? What?

If you can't afford it and you can't find another source of funding, then clearly you are being sensible and your fiance needs to grow up and get some financial counseling before you to get married. If the money is readily available and his parents are happy to pay for it, then what exactly is the issue? Do you fear that will take over everything and you'll lose control? Is it that you really don't know or aren't comfortable with the 100+ extra people? Is it that you and your fiance wouldn't agree on who to cut for his list of 300? Is it that your dream venue only holds 200?

Once you hit about 100people, it really doesn't matter if you have 100 or 300. It is a big event in a big place.

Go with his idea. You guys are going to have a lot more confrontations but who cares?! You'll be fine!

If his parents are helping out financially, it's not a problem, is it?

And lose the guilt. Guilt is for criminals. You're not one, are you?

how the hell do you know 300 people??? and even 150 people????? ridiculous. he won't change his mind, he's an as*hat. so you'll just have to deal with it, just like for the rest of your life, the unevenness of your relationship.

An important part of marriage is communication.

You two must figure this out together.

First, recognize that this isn't about money- it's about a difference in lifestyle.

It's a fundamental difference he has grown up with- the thought of splashing money around, and having *everything* you want. That's going to come into a lot of things in your life, especially if you have children, so think about how you want to live, and how this will play out when you have a disagreement. he's already operating on the assumption that he has a slush fund to dip into when your finances won't cover things- do you want to be his parents' child as well?

Oftentimes, the wedding preparations are a first test for a couple. You've come upon an issue that needs to be resolved, and it's much bigger than the length of the guest list. Are you and he going to act together as a cohesive team to make decisions that are right for both of you, or is he always going to use his parents money to overrule you?

Come to a solid understanding now, or cancel the wedding. It IS enough of an issue to warrant that, and this will be what your life is like if you continue on without facing it.

Sit him down and tell him that by spending all of this money, you are wasting savings you could be using for a house or future trips together or children. Explain to him that the wedding is not about inviting EVERYONE, but celebrating with those who you are closest to. Have him make a list of EVERY single person he wants to invite. Make one for you, too.

Then you go through and explain who each person is and how they are related to you or why they should be invited. Family shouldn't need an explanation, but distant relatives and friends do need one. If he struggles to explain why the person deserves an invite, they aren't that important to him and don't need an invitation.

It almost sounds like he just wants a big wedding because he can have one, not because he wants to celebrate with every one of these people. If he comes from a wealthy family, he's probably used to being able to throw large parties.

You talk to him, and come up with something you can both agree on.

Think of this as practice for the rest of your married life together.

It's not his parents' problem that he wants to invite more people than he has the money to pay for. So, yes, it would be incredibly rude to ask them for a handout. They aren't obligated to fork over cash for their son's wedding just because they happen to have a lot of it. It's THEIR money - it's not up for the taking to whomever asks for it.

The ONLY time it's OK to outright ask parents for money is if they start making demands about your wedding. In which case he's welcome to say, "We can't afford that many guests, Mom and Dad. If you would be willing to cover the cost for all of them, then we can talk about expanding our guest list." But, again, that's ONLY if Mom and Dad start making requests/demands for the wedding.

Otherwise, you and your fiance need to pay for your wedding yourselves. If the parents want to help pay, then they'll volunteer ... otherwise you guys need to keep your mouths shut and simply work with what you have. Either learn to be happy with whatever kind of wedding you can afford at the moment, or have a longer engagement to save up the money you would need for a bigger wedding.

But, no, don't ask Mommy and Daddy for a handout, because they don't owe it to you, and you guys are too old to expect someone else to shoulder YOUR responsibilities. You would be 100% correct in feeling guilty to do this, because it's flat-out wrong.

The bigger issue here, however, is that you and your fiance cannot compromise. You're WAY too far apart on the wedding plans. He wants 300 (that he cannot afford, no less) and you want 150ish ... that's a huge difference.

It's also a huge red flag that you're marrying a guy who thinks he can just run to Mommy and Daddy for money when he has a hankering for something he cannot afford. Based on that fact alone, you guys need to put the brakes on the party planning and have some very serious discussions about financial management. Because this issue will not magically go away once the wedding is over and paid for. You don't want to marry a guy who thinks it's OK to buy a house he can't afford, to charge his credit card with vacations and electronics then not pay it off, or who runs up massive debts and then goes crying to his parents because he's broke and can't pay the bills.

I think it's rude to ask..