Hi, I’m from Finland, so excuse me for any spelling mistakes. There’s this guy I met online from my city a little more than a year ago. We are both in our 20’s. Before him, I hadn’t had sex with anyone for a few years. We talked for three weeks and then we met up for a drink and had sex. We continued to text every day all day for a whole year and hooked up once/twice a month. He says he likes spending time with me and nobody understands him like I do, but he doesn’t ever invite me out or on a vacation, even though he says he will. I recently met his friends and found out he lied about not being with other women, he told me his surname was different than it actually is and blocked me from Facebook, so I wouldn’t find out, but I did. Still, I’m not able to see his profile because it’s set on private. I didn’t confront him, so he doesn’t know I know. I don’t know what to do, I know he betrayed me, but I want him so much, I feel so alive and safe and he understands me, we really do click. WTF should I do?!
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You, my dear, are being taken. I'm sorry to say it. ... look I've done it too (I'm not proud to say) But when I was younger I did the same thing to a girl. You lie about yourself... you have a fun fling and that's it. He has a full life with another women (maybe more) I'll bet money on it. You need to realize that you are worth more than that and you have something to offer someone. He is never going to be with you otherwise he would have by now. He wouldn't by lying about who he is so that you can't find him, he wouldn't have you pre-emptivly blocked so that you can't see his real life... he wouldn't do any of that. If you feel safe around him you need to snap out of it because he is sneaky and tricking you. One day... hopefully he will learn just how damaging his behavior is. Women make stronger emotional connections in the brain after sex than men do. He will keep you going for as long as he can because you are just for fun. He will tell you whatever you need to hear in order to keep you around because he thinks you are hot. Don't get me wrong, he does like you... but he is hiding a LOT from you and that isn't something you do if you plan to stay with a person for a long relationship. You don't understand him as well as you think because the person that he tells you he is, is only what he wants you to see and it's only half of him at best.
I am begging you to save your own heart here and stop wasting your time with this loser. You know something is VERY wrong, and I know you can feel it in your gut, that's why you are on here. And you probably want someone to tell you it'll all be ok because no one likes having to do the hard stuff. But if you don't want to waste your time... just end it. Stop answering him and move on to someone that might actually fall in love with you. You are worth it right? If you want to have a fling with someone, then stay with him.. that is what you should set your expectations at though, so that you don't get hurt. YOU are the one with the power now.
If he's lying to you then it's probably because he's hiding something from you. You may really want him but its not worth being lied to or hurt in the end. If you want to be casual with him then do it but don't expect anything more from him.
Ask him to be faifthful.