Okay, long story short? Cody is a fallen star, he's in love with a human girl named Kay, he has to save the world, yadda yadda yadda. Kay's in love with him too, but because she has these intimacy issues, she won't admit it, and he won't either because he's kind of arrogant and proud and thinks humans are below him or whatever.
The thing is? Kay sees these black holes (they're sort of like demons) that humans aren't supposed to see, because they're in this other world (to be fair, Kay really only sees the actual /world/ in her dreams), which means that she's this prophesies Valkyrie they've all been waiting for. So she has to choose the people who are slain in the battle between the Titans (black holes) and the stars. So of course the Titans are trying to kill her like, all the time.
Which basically insures that Cody has saved her life a freaking crapload of times, so even though I've made her not Mary Sue-ish, it does get a bit Lois Lane-like, right?
Also, I don't know how to describe the battle. I don't know how black holes /or/ stars should be destroyed.
I don't know why Cody manages to save her every time.
I don't even know how to end it. I know the plot, and the romance parts, but not the most important battle scenes. Can anyone /please/ help me?
Also, I need a good, cool last name for Kay. And I need to know what Cody should wear when he's in human form. And some sort of income. Freakin' Edward Cullen is rich, but he's 17; he wouldn't really /have/ to work anyway. Kay works in a coffee shop/bookstore, but Cody doesn't necessarily need money, but I want him to be rich anyway. (Shut up, I totally know how stupid that sounds. You don't have to point it out. xD)
Ten points to who helps me. PLEASE! Any and all ideas are welcome!!
Update:lol to the first comment. i was sooo hoping no one would notice. but yeah, you know. you end up feeling some affection towards a person, and it just, i don't know... blossoms. he has to materialize into human form anyway. has no contact with other stars, execpt when they're in human form as well, so he gets used to them.
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
When I heard the whole 'fallen star' thing, I immediately thought of Neil Gaiman's 'Stardust', but it seems slightly different.
Truth be told, your heroine does sound Mary-Sue (has a hot guy lusting after her, and is the 'Chosen One'), and Lois-Lane-ish (always has to be saved by said hot guy). I wouldn't read the book based on that, I dislike the whole damsel-in-distress thing (this probably explains why I didn't like Twilight. That, and the sparkly vampires, bleh.) If she's gonna save the world, and has this neat-o 'valkyrie power', I want her to be stronger than, 'Oh save me, hot guy!' Ya know?
Here's what I think you need to do: the plot needs a major overhaul. It's really following the 'Twilight' template too closely. I like the 'Valkyrie' power thing Kay has, instead of having the fight between the stars and black holes (since a black hole technically can't be destroyed, it sucks in everything that gets close to it), have the fight be between the Norse gods (Odin, Thor, etc.). That way, the Valkyrie thing fits. Also, instead of having Cody being on the good side, make him a bad guy. That way the romance will be even more intriguing, because it'll be like a 'forbidden love'. Also, definitely give Kay a power or ability that allows her to hold her own in a fight. It's just annoying and redundant when the heroine has to be constantly rescued, and makes her 'Chosen One' status less believable.
Anyway, just some suggestions.Hope it helps. :)
You asked whether this story is too clichéd. Yes, it is. You could probably enter it into a competition for Most Clichéd Story, and you would win in several categories.
I would have offered a constructive suggestion if I thought there was room for improvement. Start again.
I didn't like the beginning..if the star thinks humans are below him, why is he on love with one?
Kay Waltar?
also, what cody should wear? how about something, hmm,.. i dont know, something rock n' roll?
P.s the plot sounds great, i would read it, if you get it published :)