My husband’s company held a family retreat in southern Florida recently. It was expected that all families attend, so myself and our daughter went too. After spending the day kayaking and paddle boarding most people were waiting to use these changing stalls that were set up. Well my daughter who is a senior in high school wanted to leave ASAP, so she went away from the group and changed between some cars.
When she came back she was complaining about how we were still waiting in line when my husband’s boss and a coworker walk up. The coworker starts joking how changing by the cars might be a good idea as long as you don’t care about being in view of people nearby checking their voicemail. Apparently, they had seen our daughter change and thought joking about it in front of us was funny. If that wasn’t bad enough, when my husband’s boss saw my daughter’s shocked reaction he said “Oh don’t worry dear, you have a cute fanny!” Then the coworker (who my husband already didn’t like) added “Yeah, we didn’t mind the free show”. We were all stunned and now my husband is really angry. He feels like they were inappropriate by joking and got one over on him by seeing our daughter naked.
Is there anything he can do or say at this point? I just want him to feel better and us all to get passed an embarrassing moment.
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
That is harassment.
Wow bad spot and since they mentioned that they were on their cell phones...whose to say someone didn't get any video or pics? Please tell your daughter to be more careful, because someone could've even groped her or worse-things are terrible these days. I'm glad the only issue is embarrassment, not something criminal. I would address them too and ask them why they think its funny to talk about "viewing" a young girl as she was changing clothes? I'd ask them if they also enjoy kiddie-porn? But be careful about the job-unless he doesn't mind losing it or he can file a grievance. I'd have a mini tape-recorder going when I addressed the matter. It is sexual harassment of another type and he should go to human resources about it...but after the recording! They are complete idiots!
It will be embarrassing for your daughter as her father. Just support each other as a family and agree that the men were jerks. Ok, they saw her changing - but they could have allowed her the 'mental privacy,' of saying nothing. Your husband should just act normal at work. If he still feels bad or they upset him, he can try relieving the stress at home by making playdoh dolls to stick pins in.
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One of my friends used to have a changing tent, to change on the beach, etc. You can make this from , say a full length curtain. You sew up the long sides, to form a tube, and thread elastic or a cord through the neck. If it is made from suitable material, it can double as towel.
i'm only going to repeat my answer from yet another question I spoke back. right here it rather is :0) between the main contemporary and embarrassing issues i will think of of handed off approximately 3 months in the past. i replaced into sitting at my table doing paintings (i'm in grade 9) and the pupil instructor comes up and asks if he can throw out the piece of crumpled up paper on my table. properly, i'm incredibly shy and now and returned as quickly as I get worried I start to laugh. besides, I only seem at him like an entire fool and commence guffawing. meanwhile he's only status there finding at me, waiting for an answer. i understand this would look rather weird and wonderful or stupid to you, yet i myself can no longer help being so shy, this is rather complicated and embarrassing. After a jiffy he only takes the paper and walks away. That replaced into rather embarrassing, however I embarrass myself often different situations daily. while i'm in college besides. the different day for the period of well-being club classification i replaced into approximately to knock on the door to tell my P.E. instructor something, yet I have been given distracted and appeared faraway from the door. I made 2 knocking motions and found out I wasn't hitting the door. I appeared around and my instructor replaced into status in the entrance. It replaced into easily extra humorous than embarrassing, rather considering that he pretended to knock on a door as quickly as I appeared around.
Sexual harassment, possibly of a minor. (You didn't specify your daughter's age.) Your husband needs to talk to each man who was heckling her and have a professional conversation with them. He should tell them how it made your daughter and family feel, and that he will take action with HR if more comments happen.
As for you and your husband, YOU should ask your daughter how she feels about it. Tell her that no matter what, you'll always love and forgive her no matter what. And then promise that if she doesn't want it to be brought up again, it won't be brought up again. And then tell your husband what she said and that he can't blame her for it.
Let me get this straight... "HE" is embarrassed? Your poor daughter thought she was in a safe spot to change and your husbands perverted co-workers saw her and laughed and joked about it...And "HE" is the one embarrassed??
omg....
I think he should talk to each of them individually, calmly and tell them he is upset, and how would they feel in his place? And to please be gentleman from this point out.
The kid did something dumb but that's what teenagers do. What excuse do the grown men have? Also being dumb is a lesser sin than being skeevy and perverted.
Wow this seems to happen a lot. This is at least the third time this question has been posted.
Sounds like still harassment. . .
atleast he didnt say your daughter was a fat pig.