This is my first relationship. I was 19 years old when he started and he was 31 years old at the time. He started calling me he girlfriend and saying he loved me one day after we met. I realize this is a dangerous sign now. We've been together four years. I keep trying to break up in a normal way, such as sit down and talk with him over dinner but it always gets out of hand. I always tell him the break up is completely my fault, that I need to work on myself and he has done nothing wrong but he still always ends up threatening me or putting me down to the point where I end up crying in bed with no energy left in me. I tried to leave him by just packing my things and he came home and drug all of my things inside and stood by the door preventing me from leaving. This has been going on for 4 years now. I know its crazy that I've been with someone this long that I dont want to be with, but I have no friends or family to talk to about this and try to rationalize the situation in my head. I'm 23 now and he's 35, he still acts the same way years later, if not worse. What should I do?? Is it wrong of me to just pack up and leave while he's at work??
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Research escape plans for abused women. Get your plan into place and then when when the opportunity comes along, follow your plan. SAY NOTHING to him, to ANYONE about your plan. If he doesn't know it's going to happen, then he won't be acting to prevent it.
Pack up and leave while he's at work, and go to the police. Him preventing you from leaving when you want to is not healthy, and I'm pretty sure it's illegal in a lot of countries.
He probably gets mad because he realizes you have not considered the consequences of leaving, because you are just mad. And he is afraid that when you come back, you will be for the worse. You have said that he is all you have, so it does not make much sense to go nowhere. You might try staying and getting a job and building a better relationship. Compromise.