I’m dating a guy who I have really deep feelings to and I want to be with him, but it seems like he is afraid to have new relationship. He said that he loves me and wants to give all of himself to me but his ex is haunting him and thoughts of what could have happened. He said he doesn’t want to be hurt again and that I and his ex have a lot of similarities that he is scared of. It seems like he really wants to forget her, he said he would never be with her again, but yet he said he still loves her but will never be in love with her. I’m so confised and trying to make him forget her. He is happy with me but than he gets depressed again. I don’t know how to help him, I know he sufferes a lot because of his past. I even asked him if he wants to come back with her and fix things but he said he would never do that and that he wants to be with me but again he is constantly thinking about her and the past. I feel so sorry for him and don’t know what I should do…
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i think you should tell him that you guys need a break and get all his feelings straight ..personally i wouldnt accept my man been with me but thinking on some other chick i just have to much pride you should really let him go for a while if he comes back then hes meant for you but if he doenst them you know he was lying when he said he loves you..
wow. I sound much like your boyfriend. Everything you just described about him are exactly what I just overcame two months ago. I was in a relationship for a year and then broke up the next year, but in that whole next year we still talked and we weren't over each other. Then I moved away to another state and I still wasn't over him. I moved in June and I just healed in October. I understand 100% what he's going through. It is very hard if you really loved them. It's hard to let go. Honestly, there is nothing you can do but to let time heal his heart. He will eventually let go of it. Don't get me wrong, he will think about it here and there, but it won't depress him. Once he's with you long enough, he won't be in pain anymore. Oh, and by the way, don't get twisted off of the "I love her, but I'm not in love with her" bit. That's the way it's supposed to be. When your parents divorce and find new partners, of course they will still love each other. They will always love each other. They just won't be IN love. Get it?
You should break up with him, he's clearly not over his ex and is confused about his feelings. Lets be honest, that whole "I love her but I'm not in love with her" crap means he still loves her. And you said he thinks about her all the time. Either you dated him too soon after his break up and he didn't have enough time to get over her, or he really, truly loves her and if he had the chance, he'd drop you for her in a second.