I'm 21 years old and currently in my last year of college. These past few years have been very rough for me. I'm not sure if I will even graduate because I'm failing. No matter how hard I try, I fail. The last straw was recent. I've always had bad relationships, never good. I finally met this guy that was WONDERFUL. Everything I've ever wanted in a guy. He was amazing and I planned on even marrying him. Well, I got a phone call from his WIFE! I did not even know or have any clue he was married. He's 22 and she's turning 23. She blocked me off all of his things. He even told her I meant nothing to him and everything he told me was a lie. She claimed she was going to divorce him but I doubt it. Everything has been hell ever since. I've been extremely depressed, failing school (most likely won't graduate), and being ignored by everyone (none of my friends will return my messages or hang out with me). I truly have no one to talk to. I don't know how I'm going to get through this or if I can. I've always suffered from depression and anxiety and I've contemplated suicide in the past. I just don't understand my purpose in this life or why I'm constantly being dragged into situations. I just want the pain and hurt to stop.
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OK, this is what you need to hear, from a guy old enough to be your great-grandfather. I have faced many tragedies in my lifetime. Every single one of them turned out to be GOOD, in the end.
Example: A marriage fails. Then you meet someone soooooooooo wonderful
Example 2: I got fired due to false accusations of sexual misconduct. A couple weeks later, I found my dream job...which I would not have even been LOOKING for, if I hadn't been fired.
Example 3: I got laid off while living in an area with ZERO employment opportunities. I ended up moving overseas, where my salary doubled (and it is tax-exempt, which means my buying power tripled)
My take? You were with a guy who was wasting your time. His WIFE did you a favor by letting you know that you were wasting your time. Should you be angry? Perhaps. I really don't think he's worth being angry though. Should you be depressed? ABSOLUTELY NOT. You didn't lose anything. You can't lose something that you never had to begin with.
Forget about the @sswipe and concentrate on your studies. Get a career started. Don't even THINK about dating for a year or two. The kind of relationship you need is the kind that is going to sneak up on you. Literally. If you aren't looking for him, he will find you. THAT is what I mean. Live your life, don't worry about men. "Live your life" means be the best college student you can.
Life is full of challenges. They are hardly ever bad news though. (in hindsight) Good luck, young lady.
1st of all, F=== HIM! He's bad all the way around. You truly are better off w/o him. 2nd, HANG IN THERE! There's always another semester for another shot. Even if it's years from now. Find a passion outside of personal relationships and all of the rest of it will fall into place and grow out of that. Including personal relationships.
Of course it does, life is a puzzle and it takes time to find the right pieces, but eventually you'll get there
Get some therapy.
what happens when life throws you darts? My life sucks right now, but I know that you, God, love me and care for me.
Just look at what King David said in Psalm 13 ....David flipped the script on his immediate reality by pointing to God’s broader story.
This isn’t easy and it necessitates a prior belief in the goodness of God, but it can be done. It’s a reminder I need everyday, especially when life sucks (or seems to). Because in the broadest reality, this life is a gift. Every breath I breathe is a blessing from the Lord. Every step I take is a declaration of God’s love for me. I don’t have to exist. None of this needs to exist. This country, this world, this galaxy, this Universe, none of it needs to exist. No. Every moment it does is a resounding declaration that God loves us.
So the next time life sucks, take a moment and declare a three letter word – but.
Dear Different, Yes, life can get much better. obviously you're in a portion of your life that suicide is the cowards way out but that is no reason to even consider suicide. Unfortunately, you were the victim of a guy who was just using you to khis advantage. Believe me, not all guys are like that, perhaps 5% or less. And, as I've found out, there are a few women who are that way also. Smile, get your act together and strive for success. Your day will come and you'll then be very happy that you didn't commit suicide. Particularly, when you start a family and hold your first baby in your arms. Stay strong and things will get better. Best of luck.
Life will get better. Seek therapy, meet a new and decent guy.
Success is always the best revenge and you can't let this two-timing loser/cheater destroy your life. But since you have real mental illness and aren't just a drama queen you will want to make sure you confide all this to the therapist you already see regularly unless you're neglecting your disease.There's absolutely no way your friends and family deserve the destruction of you harming yourself over a guy so lame that his wife has to end his extramarital relationships for him. You should be laughing at how humiliating that was for him instead of blaming yourself.
I REALLY do not wish to patronise you, but, you are ONLY 21.
Of course it get better, but, your priorities are VERY wrong.
Marriage? to a guy you supposedly knew how long?
pfffffft
You can clearly see where that got you
You have a HUGE amount of growing up to do, firstly, realising what will stand you in good stead for the rest of your life, and that is graduating and establishing a career, not planning a wedding to someone you barely know.
You need to take control of your life, and you genuinely do need to grow up mentally.
Make a 3 year plan, and start to make it happen
Every college has counselors. Speak to one.