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no offense taken :)

<here comes the thumbs down>

there are (and I am generalizing a lot) 4 categories of foreigners in Japan:

- English teachers

- US military

- Middle management/executives working for foreign companies

- Tourists

Some Japanese women will NOT date a foreigner no matter what

Some will talk to one ONLY if introduced properly (and they see the value of meeting one!)

Some will be ambivalent

and some will date ONLY foreigners

Here is how the various groups are viewed (Pros/Cons):

- English teachers: nice guys, like to party, fun to be with, make little to no money, tend to be on the marginal part of life, unsure about their future in Japan, may or may not be boyfriend material

- Military: young, drink a lot, love to fight, undetermined time in Japan, good ticket out of Japan

- Tourists: in for a quick wham-bam-thank-you-m'am, fun for a night or two will all expenses paid

- Middle management/executives: prosperous, successful, decent jobs - definitely a potential husband (unless already married of course but that has rarely stopped folks...) <-- this is the real target

You want to be more successful at chatting women up?

Figure out the type of Japanese girls that might be interested in YOU. Chatting women in clubs is no big deal - just make sure you go to the type of clubs that tend to have women interested in the type of person you are. You teach English and you cannot get your students to introduce you to their friends? huh?

Not really sure if my opinion helps you or not but I'm a Japanese girl living in Tokyo.

Here's my opinion.

-Japanese people are cautious

I think a lot of Japanese people are very cautious and they'd rather not talk to strangers.

-Japanese being nervous and shy

I think this is pretty much true.

I think people here are much more unfriendly than you can imagine.

Maybe this would depend on the situation, but even if they're not alone, wouldn't you feel nervous or uncomfortable if a total stranger intruded into your group all of a sudden?

If you're all drunk up or something this might be different, but I would feel irritated and nervous if a guy (foreign or non-foreign) just comes up to our table and start a random conversation.

I think this is more of a different ways of thinking between a guy and a girl.

-meeting people

A lot of women goes to blind date parties to find bfs but probably half of the women just wait till they have a chance to meet the right guy.

I hate blind dates though.haha.

If you want to go out with Japanese girls, why don't you join events or communities that might give you the opportunity to meet them?

http://www.tokyo-icc.jp/

Anyways, hope my advice helps you.

Have you considered dating none Japanese girls? i believe they are other European and non European nice girls over there. From personal experience, you have to widen your search criteria as love is a very strange thing and the right woman for you may not even be Japanese. If you are open to all types of girls from different nationalities, i guarantee that you won't be single for long. And besides these girls would probably speak english as well and may or maynot have any levels of Japanese. Say for example you meet a nice Nowergian girl by accident who asks you for directions. You give her directions, then get talking and next thing you know you have a date. It is not impossible my friend.

Yeah. You got the "the reason is because you don't speak Japanese" explanation which as you learned has nothing to do with it but is something that people unfamiliar with the situation in Japan or are in denial (like Tokyo E) always use.

Japanese women will always notice a well dressed handsome foreigner. They may even go so far as to imagine what it would be like to enter a romantic relationship with one. Most would never, ever consider it though.

They spend their entire lives fitting into their society. Always making minute changes in the way that they behave to do things as others would expect them to. They do not make individual choices, based on what they want. They make choices based on what they perceive to be the accepted way. The comfortable way, the right way. There is no diabolical plan to exclude foreigners. Foreigners are just not under consideration.

Please consider the tremendous amount of social stress Japanese girls go through during their school years. As a parent of two such girls I can tell you that the social pressures are extreme. It presses nearly ever ounce of self-will, individuality, self-determination out and replaces it with a bland, unoriginal, safe, yet lonely being. It is not "what do I want to be"? but, "what would everyone think is best for me"? In the end, you don't have people capable of thinking outside the box.

Nothing says outside the box more in Japan than a foreigner.

You are going to need to be patient. You are probably going to find a Japanese girl who is either away from her home (from a small city, studying in a big one) or a girl who has fallen through the cracks somehow and has turned her back somewhat on convention. She is likely to have few friends and few Japanese male admirers. Many Japanese people say it, "only ugly Japanese choose foreigners" to them -there is truth in that statement.

I see it as a shallow, racist and pitiful sentiment.

How is it that you have lived in this country for so long and speak the language yet you haven't managed to understand this small part of the culture?

You can never, ever, impose your cultural beliefs in a new place. The rules where you came from don't apply; Japanese women don't need to acquiesce to make you feel less inadequate.

Even with an open mind, I found myself slipping into assumptions.

Haven't you noticed yet the Japanese is motivated by grouping? Haven't you noticed Japanese girl not used to act alone? Notice the fact that Japanese girls feel at ease when they are group.

If someone does nampa with alone, he would fail even if he was the Japanese. You should act with your friends. Go to izakaya with him and sit on a next seat of the group of girls and make conversation. Of course, it is desirable that the conversation is not serious. They love chuckling.

For example: Point tofu and ask them "kore wa nani de dekite imasuka", even if you know tofu is made of soy beans.

Many of Japanese girls want to be kind to foreigner. Take advantage of it.

After these silly conversations, you and your friend would be able to make female friends if you look harmless boy.

So:

Your friends don't know anyone.

Your co-workers don't know anyone.

Your students are too young.

You tried the bar/club scene.

Man you are out of luck!

You really need to ask your friends and co-workers. Even if they don't know someone they should know someone who knows someone right?? It is hard to believe that they do not.

Any students with single mothers?

Any single teachers? I know many Japanese teachers tend to be on the younger side these days.

Any case if all your options are up.

An advertisement in the local newspaper lol.

You are currently studying Japanese, but how much Japanese can you speak?

The more Japanese you speak the better your chances increases of meeting (and keeping) a lady.

If you don't speak Japanese or speak it horrible, you are pretty much limiting yourself to a select few women who can either understand or speak a bit of English.

The more you speak Japanese the more the doors open because then you open yourself to a wider range of options then just English speaking ones.

Push your friends, students, co-workers. I can't believe none of them know anyone. In Japan it's about being introduced to someone through some connection.

OK, I understand your situation.

I am married to a Japanese woman and I will tell you how I met her. I was doing an "arubaito", when I got hungry and went to a Mc Donald's restaurant. It was in my hometown in Europe. I chose a seat next to a pretty Asian looking woman. She handed me a tissue, because I had forgotten one. That is how our relationship started. Maybe you should go to Mc Donalds more often.

Do you use trains? Sometimes you meet nice girls in trains. You should have a "meishi" (visit card) with your full name, E-Mail address, telephone number and living address on it. You can hand it to her, if she seems willing to start a conversation. You might also go to cafés, where young people meet. Once I met a girl, who was with a group of young people at a skating place. I had come with my son. I was not interested to start a new relationship, but we had a nice talk. You should never give up, but maybe you should change your strategy. You could also maybe become member of a club, etc. I felt that there are lots of girls who are willing to talk to foreigners.

Good luck!

Where are you located?

If you're somewhere like Okinawa or the countryside, you will have a very very hard time finding women who want to talk to you. They still have a very negative image of foreigners for the most part.

If you're in a city like Osaka or Tokyo, try hitting up more foreigner-friendly places. If you go to Roppongi (the nice side not the scummy side) in Tokyo, or the Azabu Juuban area, you'll find a girl in no time, for example.

Find out where good, foreigner friendly places are. Women who want to learn/practice their English are definitely more likely to be interested too.