A friend of mine and I where talking during a social gathering about the dynamics what makes a ‘healthy marriage’. And for the most part we agreed that a successful (or happy) marriage pretty much means that the needs, wants and desires of each individual engaged in a union are met (or compromised) by their spouse. But he made a comment that intrigued me, by stating that “Some women just don’t know how to let a man be a man; and that’s why so many are lonely”. Puzzled, I asked “what exactly must a woman do to allow a ‘man to be a man’”.
He smiles and states his views by openly stating a woman should know when to let a man make the decisions, when to speak with him about certain issue and when to pretty much ‘shut up’ about it (stop nagging). And he feels that women of today should simply cater to their mans needs (i.e. the home cooked meals, sex when he’s in the mood; doing what he likes to do, and letting him hang with the fellas with out any lip) because if she doesn’t, another ‘sideline’ woman will. Of course I was a bit confused (and a little livid) by his description; but I ‘let him be a man’ and explain himself. Playing devils advocate I posed the question, “So when does a man let a ‘woman be a woman’ and were does the compromise come into play when catering to a loved ones needs?” Meaning what does the man do for his woman in return to allow her to ‘be a woman’?
I would like to know, from the users here; when does compromise on a woman’s (or mans) behalf to ‘let a man be a man’ crosses over from
A. Allowing him/her to play his/her supposed role in a relationship/engagement/marriage
To
B. Simply allowing a man or woman to ‘walk over’ you and do what ever he/she feels like doing?
Update:@JulyFire, Agreed! My friend stated this was true, but when he gave his definition of ‘letting a man be a man’ it sounded more to me like it was just letting him do what he wanted. This is why I had to ask the users where what they think.
Update 3:I beg to differ on that one Miss Theo; I’ve seen plenty of woman and men get caught up in a tangled web of lies, deceit and hurt when they take that route. I think that women and men should make their needs in a relationship known to whom ever they’re engage in a marriage/relationship with. This gives the other party a chance to decide if this is the man or woman he or she see’s themselves with many years to come. Now, if they still chose this person and they’re not happy then they can’t blame anyone but themselves. But when we take the time to get to know the person we think we love, we allow ourselves the chance to figure out if this is what we really want.
Although the tought sounds fun, I really don't think it's worth the trouble that comes afterwards.
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
part of 'letting a man be a man' is saying nothing when they belch, fart and scratch themselves in public
Wow what a lucky guy. ! woman every 24 hours thats godly. Well the thing is if a man slept with a lot of women he would get better at it and the next woman would probably be grateful for his mad skillz in the sack. But for a woman that tight pussy would turn into the grand canyon and sorry but guys like it tight. Imagine throwing a hotdog down an empty hallway. Thats what a whore is like.
I don't think that it's possible to let a man be a man or a woman be a woman in a heterosexual relationship. I think men and women are only free to express their natural gender identities when they are away from the other sex! I think everyone's masculinity or femininity is compromised to some extent in a heterosexual relationship but that's okay!
There has to be balance in order to have a healthy relationship in which both people are happy and content. It can't be one person constantly catering to the other person's every whim and desire.
I encourage all women with a boyfriend like that to get a sideline man who will let them be a woman.
Edit: You'd be amazed at how quickly a man shuts the fck up and changes his attitude when he realizes that a woman won't put up with her needs not being met either
If I heard a boyfriend say what that man said I'd dump him right then and there, I'd be insulted and embarrassed to be the partner of a man who goes around saying something like that.
You cant ‘let a man be a man’, once their adults with male organs, they're men, there's nothing more to it.
I think its only insecure or traditional men who feel this way, which is sad really.
These days women make decisions, work, be independent, being assertive etc, i don't consider those to be manly things, or that your "emasculating" them and not "letting" them be men, if you do those things, which i think is ridiculous.
‘Letting a man be a man’ is nonexistent to me, but that's just my opinion.
you are so obsessed with equality and quid pro quo that you will never understand.
You may land a man, but you will ultimately break his spirit. He will never be truly happy. I'm sure that is what you're after, so congratulations in advance.