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I agree with hardy rose on this one. The consequence you're suggesting would be perfect, but only if it's immediate. I'm concerned that too much time has passed and she won't comprehend the cause-effect aspect of it which is the whole point of discipline.

Personally, I would sit her down, explain that her behavior was inappropriate, then set some new ground rules. Help her brain storm a list of inappropriate behaviors as well as consequences. Ask her if she feels losing the play date should be a consequence for future negative behaviors. That way, she understands the cause-effect aspect because she helped set the ground rules. When you notice her behavior escalating in the future, remind her of the ground rules and ask her if she remembers the consequences. If she follows through with the negative behavior, she will be reminded, and hopefully understand, that the consequence is a result of her actions, not yours.

Five is a great age for kids to work on cause-effect understanding - some kids really struggle with the concept at that age though and need help with a behavioral system (i.e. set firm limits with clear expectations, develop insight and awareness, and develop a cue/reminder system).

Good luck!

Lordy! Heck Yes! cancel the play date! And she's better able to understand that actions have consequences, I wouldn't stop there. Take away something else that she really likes for a couple of days and calmly explain why you're doing it. If you don't address violent outbursts now, her teenage rebellion will be *massively* worse. I tried the "enlightened parenting" thing. By the time I realized my mistake, it was almost too late. Set limits *now* and and enforce them consistently. Trust me, it's a lot easier than running around for a couple of years constantly chasing after her to save her from herself

Absolutely cancel the play date. You cannot teach your daughter that if she is disrespectful she still gets what she wants. When they get older they will think that they can get what they want no matter what. You can meet up with her friends another time. They will definitely understand the situation. Hope I could help!

No, I wouldn't cancel the playdate. I think too much time has gone since the incident for it to do any good. Your response to unacceptable behavior has to be immediate and consistent. Good luck!

i just answered your other question..yes take away her toys for a day and cancel the appointment what she did was wrong and she needs to know that