(This is a continuance from my yahoo question "Should I feel guilty for wanting a life separate from my mother?") I also felt relieved because i was no longer torn between my mother and my husband She thought she should come first before him, she didn't want us doing things without her and would sit and pout and make everyone miserable when she lived with us. She never wants me to leave her side, not even in my home! If I go upstairs for awhile to get away, she will say "where we're you" in this "tone". She will sulk if I leave her alone too long. She is smothering me to death. My Mother was never married and doesn't understand or respect marriage. She even advises me to never marry again, claiming it never works out. She didn't want us visiting his family on holidays until the day was practically over. She thinks that only her and my family is important and she rejects all outsiders, she is very threatened by anyone other then our immediate family. I sometimes refer to her as the "cult leader". When my husband and I would visit his family and friends, she would cry and say I ruined her holiday, I've been ruining her holidays for 20 years for one reason or another. It's her way or no way! When my husband moved out, she permanently moved in and at first, she was helpful but that quickly changed to a "murder by a different name". She continues to murder my life in every way possible, she tries to control my parenting, my household affairs, my money, how I dress, how I cook n what utensils I cook with, what food I buy n where I buy it, my animals, etc etc etc! As for a love life, she forbids me to have one and is trying to turn me against my current boyfriend of three years. This man is a Christian and thus is the only way that he is surviving this situation but it's getting harder and harder for him. (continue on to the yahoo question "My mother is ruining my life, how can I get away from her?"
Update:There are 3 other ASK posts that go with this question, please read them all before answering, thanks so much for your help n patience!!
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
You won't have her forever. Pray about it, give your troubles to the Lord. This too shall pass. You will get married and distance yourself in time. Until then, try to honor her.
"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you.
Exodus 20:12
You already know what you have to do. What do you want from us?
Kick her out, GAWD. Give her a 30-day notice... in writing. Do it like a bandaid... just do it. You get on with you life by distancing yourself from her and you cant do that if you are living under the same roof. Tell her you need your home to yourself.