No, it isn’t an abusive boyfriend. I don’t go for that. Yesterday was my daughter’s birthday and we went by her aunt’s house for a small celebration.
It went good until her aunt’s husband showed up. When he got in a ‘playful mood’ he tied me up with a dog leash and pinned me to the couch. My legs, wrists, and shoulders are still sore. They say he doesn’t know his own strength, but that excuse is invalid once someone says “Ouch, you’re hurting me.”
I hate when he does stuff like that! My girl loves her aunt and cousin, but I have to avoid them because of him. (we last visited them in April) I don’t know what to do when he is around! I don’t want my daughter to get scared if I get in a fight, and he is so much stronger than me, I would loose anyhow. For now I just tell her that we can not play with her aunt and cousin because her uncle is not nice.
I don’t guess anyone can really tell me an easy way out of this situation, but I am curious what kind of feedback y’all have.
Update:One more thing, I totally agree with Lynda's comment. My daughter does not need to witness that kind of behavior, nor do I need to put up with it. I only agreed to go because my daughter wanted to and this man wasn't supposed to be home. I told her aunt that we will have to figure out something else next time she wants to see my daughter. Her house and my apartment aren't going to work.
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
That's tough and touchy. Have you spoken to your aunt about this? Tying you with a dog leash is not 'playful' especially if your are still sore. That is abusive.
Before you go back try to take some kind of self-defense class to when he gets 'playful' again you can 'play' right back. If he sees you can defend yourself maybe he'll quit. If not then I'd explain to your aunt and uncle just why you won't go back for a visit when he is there. This is certainly not the kind of behavior you want your daughter to experience or even witness. Her cousin is learning that this kind of behavior is acceptable when it is NOT.
This man has problems and you owe it to yourself and to your daughter not to get put into any kind of position where either of you could be hurt or yes, even killed by someone who "doesn't know his own strenght".
Good luck!!!
It sounds very abusive. The fact that you basically told him to stop and he didn't should send you a red flag. My concern is that if he does this to you, then could he be doing it to the aunt. It kind of sounds like he could be especially since she turned the other way when he was doing it. I would be scared about what he would do next and what he would be capable of doing. You need to have a serious conversation with the aunt about it, without the kids, and him (Maybe go for coffee). You are right to keep your daughter away from the situation because it isn't safe for her to see that type of stuff. Good Luck
You say 'No, it hurts and I do not enjoy it when you do that." And if he continues, it is abuse. Anytime someone is doing something like that against you and your wishes, it is abuse. And yes - you do not go around him if he is treating you like that. Or you need to talk to the aunt but it is far better for you to stay away than it is for your daughter to be witness to such childish and bad behavior.
If he does that only with girls,, he is a woozzz. So is he part ape? perhaps he belongs in the friggen zoo.
Seroiusly,, he is just being a show off. He is getting your attention,, easy for him to do that. You need to channel his brut strenght in a positive direction. Football, pulling out trees with his hands,, lfiting heavy things like as in working for a moving and storage company. Sign him up for wrestling. He seems to be good about inflicting pain,, but how well does he take it? Ok good luck with him.
I am sorry but I feel this is a bunch of bull crap. and if it isn't , then what are you thinking of , Why would you subject your daughter to this kind of behavior. Her seeing you going thru this, will tell her its ok to be with people who are abusive... Wake up mom..
they prefer sexy and generous guys with large pocket books that also listen... rough or smooth facial skin is way low on the list of things
So I don't repeat everything everyone else has said; sounds abusive to me and that he has a problem.
ask the aunt if there's anything wrong with his husband...if there's any problems maybe u can help him...
Okay.....OMG! Tell your daughters' aunt.....
boxing lessons and mace!