Two of my cousins rehomed some cats to us. Now we have a multi cat home and we already had 2 cats prior to the new additions. So one of the cousins has helped us with cost of the cats financially, and to be clear, he offered, we didn’t ask him for money or anything. We bought us really nice expensive litter boxes, he got us a monthly subscription to cat litter (we don’t buy litter anymore), and he’s also got us some cat supplies (Feliway diffuser, UV light to search for pee stains, etc.). The other cousin offered and told me he was going to get us some nice cat trees. He sent me a website link and told me to pick the ones I like and he will get them for us. I asked him a few times but he hasn’t gotten them yet. He offered about 6 months ago. I don’t think it’s fair that one cousin helped so much, the other one said he was going to but then didn’t. My husband said to let it go, that he’s all talk, no action. But I feel like I should confront him. What should I do?
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It was nice of the cousins to offer to do these things, but if you get pets, they are your responsibility.
You don't really need diffusers, and you certainly don't need expensive cat trees. I have 5 cats and use large plastic storage boxes for litter because because they work AND they don't frighten the cats.
Your relatives obviously just wanted someone to care for the cats.
Also consider allowing a couple of the cats to go outdoors during the day if they want to. This would lighten the load for the litter, and let the cats have a little space.
BUT, be sure you let them in at night or if they ask, and BE SURE they are neutered and wear I.D. tags. Neutering is the most important cost for these cats and should be your primary concern.
These are your cats, now. If it's too many cats, give a couple back, along with the fancy litter boxes, or re-home to good and responsible homes, with no more discussion about the cousins other than to let them know, in case they want their cats back.
Let it go. It's not worth fighting over and the cat doesn't NEED the cat tree.
If you cannot afford the pets on your own then you shouldn’t own them. What’s about vet expenses, shots, deworming etc. did you think your cousins would magically pony up the costs. Or by chance then if the couch or carpet gets ruined they would replace it for free or pay damage deposit if your a renter?
Owning any pet even fish thr is a responsibility of reasonable care. Yes people eat fish and they are a food source, but when you get down to it any animal or reptile or Avery somewhere in this world is a food product not limited to insects to rodent to dogs, cats, horse even elephants. You need to take the responsibility for the critters life if you want to “own” them and claim them part of your family or collection or whatever you want to call them, if not then what’s the point of having them?
If you get s pet because of it being fun, relaxing, or it’s company then the pet is repaying you and earning its keep as long as you enjoy having it around. If you took the pet in simply because you felt obligated or were promised this or that then that’s on you, you still have the responsibility for all its care like it or not. This simply could have been prevented by saying a magic word... “No”
Your cousins were nice in offering to help. Kudos to the one thet csme through snd helped get you started, but that’s as far as they should have helped. The cousin that didn’t follow through msynsimpky have gotten busy or something may have changed financially but that’s nothing to whine about, if they decide to gift you something then that’s great, there is no legsl'obligstion or moral obligation to their words. It’s not like they said ‘if you take in these cats I promise to spend __________$ on food, toys, litter etc or ill take them back”. It may have been more of a suggestion that they might try and help you with things if they could. It want s lifetime commitment that they would pony up money for the cats as long as they lived Would you think of going after them if they forgot s birthday present or holiday gift. That would be totally silly wouldn’t it.
Most people try and fulfill their promises, some people use terms like. ‘I promise, or i’ll help you, or call me any time....’ trying to fit into the group or conversation or trying to be one of the good guys. Their intent was not meant to be malicious nor is it something binding you can sue them in court over. If your so upset over this and don’t hsvr money for the cat trees or condos then for Pete’s sake get a newspaper, go on line, Craig’s list, check buliten boards at the pet store, grooming salons, vet offices and look for free cat toys, condosbeds etc. they have everything from kitty kennels to full blown cat runs for FREE. your only cost is getting there to pick the items up, if your too cheep and out of money for that then build your own stuff with cardboard and zip ties. Stop at carpeting stores, ask for scrap carpet, get creative. People often have pets that die or they have the items find the pets are allergic, or they move. Shelters don’t want the toys and dishes but people do give them away. Most things wash with a little bleach or soap and water. Things that can’t be washed can be sprayed down and hand wiped. Make sure you clean and quarantine everything for 2 weeks in a sealed plastic bag so as to kill any bugs and not spread disease. After the quarantine clean the items, dry them and use them.
If you insist on a certain color or need everything new then your on your own.
Your cousin has no legal, moral responsibility to provide for your cats or your family, have you simply thought of calling and asking if their offer was still good or did s9mething change financially that they cannot help out with that, perhaps give them an easy out and ask if they would trade a week or weekend of cst sitting in lieu of the gift they once offered? It’s totally out of place to try and go after someone that offered out of the thoughtfulness and kindness of their heart and simply forgot. (Out of sight out of mind) or got busy and thought they did it already. Let it go, it’s petty, something s 10 year old would complain of really.
Why do you have these cats if you're too poor to provide for them? Your cousin is under NO obligation to give you ANYTHING. If you can't afford to care for them then give them up to a no kill shelter. And seriously - get the hell over yourself!