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ok ok so yes it is me being creative again - but it's Saturday afternoon in my home town....time to clear the cobwebs...

“Wh wh wh WHAT was THAT??!!” My third hour into the 60s Suspense Movie marathon and I was really starting to get a little jumpy at the occasional noises my old house was making. Houses built circa 1949 do tend to shake and creak when you least want them to.

Putting the DVD on “pause” I wandered into the kitchen to get another snack, when suddenly I heard a crashing noise coming from my bedroom. I thought to myself “Now what would Sunshine and MattBaby do at a time like this? Surely the Bogart and Bacall of Yahoo Answers would know what to do at a time like this”

I haven’t a clue what it could be and I almost was too scared to venture into the darkened hallway. I grabbed the torch from behind the breadbox and creeped steadily towards the bedroom. I grabbed the door handle and for a moment I thought the door is locked!! After composing myself and wiping the sweat from

my brow I tried again. From behind the door there came a massive howl, the screams were deafening. My immediate instincts told me “you better run for your life” but I didn’t I opened the door with a shove, switched on the light and found….a branch from the gum tree next door had broken through my window and a possum and my two cats were in a ferocious struggle to gain the upper hand. Furniture was strewn everywhere, as was the stuffing from my oversized pillows – eww what a mess!! On seeing me enter the room the possum fled through the window opening and the cats (covered in pillow stuffing) almost knocked me over to get out the door. All that was left was manchester devastation. A true nightmare…..waking up from the sofa, I wished I hadn’t had the midnight taco because I knew it would give me strange dreams like that.

On the TV Bacall was leaning seductively on the doorframe saying in her low husky voice “you do know how to whistle don’t ya?”

*DING DONG* “THE DOOR IS LOCKED!!!!” *DING DONG* *CREEPY VOICE through door* you better run for our life *you* but why? *creepy dude* I haven’t a clue *you* are you a polish doctor? *creepy dude* no *you talking to friend over cell phone* that polish doctor reminds me of you! *creepy dude* the screams were deafening they’ll only get worse. *you left the door and went to the library* *Col. Mustard was in the library* *Col. Mustard sat reading the book “the monster that ate Cleveland”* it was only a matter of time that you realized that the creepy dude was standing at the window *creepy dude says* Wh wh wh WHAT was THAT??!! *you* Okay. Who's the wise guy? WHERE is my cell phone? *col. Mustard says* Now what would Sunshine and MattBaby do at a time like this? *you say* I don’t know but this story is pointless

A horrifying scene happened on Saturday final in our borough . A using mower took off at a pace of 60 mph with the well burgher aboard." I suppose it is a little bit of a sticky wicket, my well guy." I intoned as I watched from in the back of one in every of my rose timber. "Somebody name Scotland Yard!" In the core of the chaos, a scream would be heard" and above that, the roar of arriving constables."This is horrible! I yelled from the bush. "Just the data maam" The stoic officer spoke back. The Queen has made her selection. We have a sniper right here to take out the mower. The shot after which the dying rattle of the mower. The deficient guy stumbled from the wooden babbling "I suppose my mum or dad angel is also a little deranged. Ahhhhhh.....Total quiet...At Last!!