I have lost feelings for my mother after Twenty years of being her life line,   my mother is not physically ill and is very capable of taking care of herself, however she chooses or rather, in her mind "needs" to live with and through me.  She expects me to make her happy,  yet she is impossible to make happy, and trying to make her happy has left me incredibly unhappy and withdrawn.   . When I was younger and much more naive,  I would  try so hard to make her happy and I always failed miserably.   I didn't know what was happening, I didn't understand  or know of  the mental illness known as " Narcissism".  My mother is extremely self centered, controlling, overbearing, manipulative, she is full of pride, jealousy,  hypocrisy and the list goes on n on. She can be very mean spirited and revengeful when she doesn't  get her way BUT In her mind  she is the most giving and caring person with the biggest heart of all.  She thinks she is the "victim" here. She thinks I'm an ungrateful daughter for not seeing how much she "helps me" by being here,  when the complete opposite is true.  My Mother Will  help you and then you will wish she never did,  her help comes with a big price to pay. You owe her your life!   She will cut me to pieces if I don't abide by her wishes.  It can be very smothering and torturing to be around her for even minutes at a time  and Im around her every day because she is living with me!  I have recently started to get shaky in her presence and I think I'm developing anxiety of some sort.   I have one failed marriage because my husband couldn't cope with  her always being around us and moving into our home from time to time, always  for this reason or that reason and not leaving, so he left. He endured a lot before he made he decision to break away. I need to finish this question in another post because I can't fit it all. I will list it under the question "Should I feel guilty for wanting a life separate from my mother?"

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Thanks!