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No, you don't get her a costume. Who is raising the daughter, your fiance or his ex? Or someone else?

You should not start deliberately disrespecting the one raising her according to Bible principles in favor of having her fit in with others who do celebrate false religious pagan celebrations.

Talk with her mother and your fiance about it.

Your intentions are good, but don't go behind their back to do any of this, just let it be known that you don't know what the expectations are or if you do something that they will find offense to. With other family gatherings like Halloween, Thanksgiving, etc you are going to need to be flexible for this girl, she will have at least 3 families to work around and you may not have her on the days you're normally with your family.

If you're on good terms with her mom (or whomever is raising her) let her know that you don't know a lot about Jehovah's Witness so you're not sure what might be offensive to them.

Jehovah's do not celebrate birthdays & several other things.

No don't get her a halloween costume. Dress up clothes are a different thing. In the toy aisle of every store there is girl toys that include little princess dresses and costume jewelry and plastic high heels (I think every little girl has a pair of those plastic high heels) .. get her some of that and play dress up with her. In fact it is shown that dress up is extremely beneficial in a child's development and imagination. This doesn't even have to be just princess dress up.. get creative.. get her an apron and chefs hat and have her help you "cook".... possibilities are endless.

As far as the holiday issues~ You don't want to be the person that interferes in the upbringing of their daughter. You don't want this to become an issue of custody and visitation (I usually post in Marriage and divorce and see people fighting over less).

Ask your fiance how they have decided to do holidays. Don't push it beyond that. Just respect the arrangement that has been made thus far. Also, as far as birthday gifts and holiday gifts.. explain to the family not to get them for holidays. They *can* give her gifts for any other reason.

This is something I see people fight about all the time.

example: A woman is mad because her son marries a Jehovah witness, she tells everyone that the wife won't let her give the kids gifts. Not true. The mother won't respect her son's family arrangement and it hasn't occurred to her that she can give gifts to her grandchildren any other time of year for the reason of "just because." Don't allow this kind of behavior to take place. This is advice strictly so that your fiance is not under pressure nor is in danger of losing any visitation. -For a smoother marriage you will want to be able to get along with his ex, for the sake of his daughter.

*You don't have to agree with the religion, but you should respect the arrangements so the relationships can remain intact.

Also be aware and prepare your heart. If the child decides to remain a JW when she is older, she may cut you out of her life after baptism. ~

The little girl will also have contact with a lot of other young ones her age within the congregation. One of the things that I appreciate about my association with the Jehovah's Witnesses is that we are very caring, and supportive of our brothers and sisters, and yes our children are always included. We are in complete unity world wide. Our kids do get to have fun. Our congregation reserved a community center last Sunday after the meeting, and the kids were all having a great time playing games, playing musical instruments, and good food. They also get to learn the difference between tradition and Godly devotion. Ask yourself, and be honest, is it proper to lie to children about such things such as a Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, or Halloween? Look up their pagan origins. We have two children, a daughter of 17 and son of 21 and neither have lacked anything, nor have they been spoiled the oldest graduated with high honors and daughters is on her way of doing the same. When you receive a gift, would you rather it be a surprise or just because of some tradition?

I also have a very special surprise for my daughter when she graduates, but that's another story.

The* unsilenced one* also misses far more than she lets on, just read between all her copy and paste.She knows just how unique it really was... Have a good day.

What does your fiance say about it? Did he and his ex agree to raise the child Jehovah's Witness? If they did, he needs to keep his word? What he says goes when it concerns his daughter.

In general though, since you and he DO celebrate holidays and birthdays, I don't see any way you could exclude her from those activities when she is with you. When she is with you, she should get to celebrate the holidays with you guys. Let her have a good time. I would take her trick-or-treating, too.

Does the custody agreement stipulate how holidays are to be handled? If it does, you must follow it.

Very cool of you to be paying attention to this! But I think you have to take your cues from your fiance, and he needs to talk to his ex. However, unless there's a specific clause in the custody agreement that the ex is somehow in charge of all religious training (which I doubt) the customs you and he are developing shouldn't be changed for the little girl. She can be a JW and still be exposed to how her father lives.

Overall, though, I'd try to resist making decisions on your own, like with a Halloween costume. Your fiance should be doing this, at least until you're married and officially the step-mom.

Should you get her a Halloween costume?

No you shouldn't. You should respect her upbringing.

It's quite easy to be sensitive to other people's beliefs.

Think about this please:- how would you feel if you were in her mother's position & someone blatantly went against your wishes & influenced your daughter over something that was very important to you?

If you have empathy & a sense of what's right, then you'll be sensitive to the little girl's needs & upbringing

I can imagine that's very difficult.

I hope she grows to see the "religion" she has been raised in is little more than a cult. Until then, I wouldn't push anything down her throat, or encourage or discourage her religious views. I would take a very diplomatic approach and encourage your step-child to keep an open mind. Don't protect her from normalcy, feel free to expose her to Halloween and normal holidays. She needs to see the world outside her cult, get comfortable with it as an alternative, see the cult isn't the only way. If her mother or other members of the cult become dangerous to her well-being, then you and your FH will need to step up and fight for full custody.

it is not your responsibility to change your lifestyle and beliefs to support the beliefs of the child's mother. your fiance is her father and as such, he has a right to insert his own traditions and beliefs into her life, which includes whatever the two of you do together to celebrate holidays.

the only exception to this would be if there is a clause concerning her religious upbringing in either the divorce papers of the orginal marriage agreement. if there is, then that must be abided by, but if not, then you are free to introduce her to the way you live and the things you believe in.

freedom of religion in this country allows freedom for all children to be exposed by both of their parents to whatever they believe or do not believe. when she is old enough, she can make her own informed decision, which is as it should be. no one should be part of a religion just because their parents are or they have been brought up that way. she will need to decide for herself once she is old enough to make such decisions.

that said, you should be prepared for being censored or even perhaps having to fight for your rights over this issue with her mother.

Do not ever go behind the mother's back and do halloween or any other holiday, not even birthdays.

She should stay with her Mother on those days and you two can have her on most any other day.

Your Bf needs to keep in touch with his X in a polite manner and they should both decide what is best for her.

You should also base your opinions on marrying this guy based upon how well he gets along with his X and their child.

You are not her mother.Just keep that in mind.