Hello,
I have recently got engaged to my boyfriend and we are supposed to be married in the summer. I am not so sure I want to go through with it because I feel he has a huge secret that he is keeping from me. Some of my reasons for feeling he is keeping a huge secret is....
He has always struggled with communicating with me openly (offering up information or even just stories, not necessarily serious stuff)
He is soooo nice and pretty much to good to be true and is always trying to please me. Its obvious he is desperate to keep me and doesn't want me to leave.
I catch him in lies all the time. He lies about how he's feeling and his emotions.
He fakes a lot of emotions even when we are sleeping together.
He compliments me like crazy like just being overly nice 100% of the time. He always gives me money and gifts.
The other night he couldnt be intimate with me. like i noticed he was faking and his body wasn't going along with the act. like he had something on his mind.
I have just been putting all the pieces together and my gut is whats really screaming out to me is he's hiding something huge from me. I confronted him and told him I know he's keeping a secret and there was all silence and then he came soooo close to telling me (as a remained silent) maybe he was trying to come up with a lie. Either one. All I know is theres something up and I need to Know what it is before can continue the relationship, let alone get married! Please help me!
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
He is your boyfriend! you shouldn't have to freak out about asking him something.
Just ask him what he is up to and if he really loves you he will tell the truth.
If not its probably something for you that he wants to be a surprise!
You are headed for big trouble because you are IGNORING the signs for a rotten marriage with a lousy foundation.
Forget that he's hiding something, maybe he is, maybe he isn't.
He is a compulsive liar. He lies about everything. Trust is the basic foundation of any good relationship and you don't have that because he's a liar. Why in the world would you want to marry someone like this? Do you not love and respect yourself? Do you not see that you deserve so much better? So what if he's "nice" to you, so what if he buys you presents, you can't trust him. Sooner or later that is going to wear down your marriage so that his niceness and presents don't mean anything because you're frustrated because he can't be honest.
If I were you I'd leave him. I'd tell him that I can't marry a man who I have caught lying about how he feels and about everything else. Don't fall for the "I'll get counseling" line. A person cannot change for someone else, they have to see the problem for themselves and want to change. That means he'll let you go, he won't use that line and he'll get counseling on his own and sometime in the future he'll come back to you and apologize to you on his own WITHOUT expecting you to go back to him.
God bless you honey and remember that you deserve to be treated much better than this!
Better to get the truth out before marriage. Or else trouble brews in the future, where you'll be with him forever. And if you're doubting, chances are slim for a happy marriage. The key to a successful marriage is open, honest communication.
Why would you even become engaged to someone you doubt? You make no sense at all.
He doesn't communicate with you. He fakes his emotions. He lies. How is this person a good candidate to be your husband?
Long answer short.
Pray. God will help you with this FORSURE. marriage is a big deal.
You're going to hear alot of answers like, omg, hes defintely cheating, etc. Who knows. Only god and your boyfriend. So trust me, PRAY sitting down with your boyfriend, block all ways of him escaping. Dont scare him. Tell him he can trust you, and that you will understand.
Good luck hun
God bless :)
to be honestwith you.. from how hes actin.. its like hes covering up a scre and that secret is pobably tht e has cheated on you...........im sorry t say it but tats what i get from this... :/ just ask him if thats what it is.. i emn hes fakng intimacy gives ou money and gift to hide the guilt... and then shys away.. doesnt add up t me
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