My dad is a mean alcoholic and I don’t know if I want him to be in my life .?
My dad has been in and out of my life since my mom left him when I was 13. He’s been a drunk his whole life and has never done single thing to help me out ever . I’m 17 now and pretty much taught my self how to shave , play sports and do everything without him . Should I try to keep a tiny realation ship with him or just try to just say the hell with him ? He’s never taught me anything . I don’t even consider him my dad . My grandpa was a way better father then he will ever be . I’m just really pissed right now . Me and my mom are struggling finanaclly and he doesn’t help at all
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GET AWAY FROM HIM DONT SEE HIM EVER AGAIN OR HIS ENERGY WILL KEEP SWEEPING INTO YOUR SOUL TILL YOU BECOME JUST LIKE HIM
thats up to you if you want him in your life or not, i would just make sure you didnt regret that decision later
I suggest going to al anon and ACA. I say this because my father is an alcoholic and going to ACA meetings and reading online has helped me. Aca stands for adult children of alcoholics. Google it. At the meetings you are with other people who grew up in dysfunction too and you would share everything for instance you just shared here. I'm glad you realize and are asking questions at 17.
This must be pretty difficult for you and your mum and I hope for you to find some help. Your mum made the decision for both of you - she protected you from sick parent. Keeping dad in your life means getting more poisoned unless you can help him which is unfair cos he has been suppossed helping you.
In case you dont want to leave him in his hell and you think he might get out of it then search for proffessional help and supporting group. He lost his wife and he is loosing his son and he cannot help himself by himself. Be thankful for your grandpa. Do not blame yourself if you do not feel like keeping the relationship. God bless you - whatever your decision will be it is going to hurt. If there is a group as Murzy says then go for it.
just stay away from him until he gets healthy and SHOWS u that he really wants to be in ur life. U r a survivor, u have dealt with this for a long time, u will be fine..:)
Well, he is an alcoholic so he's more interested in booze that anything else. He probably won't even notice that you're no where in sight. Live your life as you choose to the best of your abilities.
People around your age (17/18) sometimes think the choices they make are forever. It's not just relationships with parents. It's education, jobs, etc. The good news is this is completely untrue. In fact, it puts a lot of unnecessary stress and pressure on yourself.
The only thing you need to remember is this will be 100 percent YOUR choice. Mom and dad don't get votes, and certainly no one else does . Also, it's on your timeline. Right now you might think he's not worth your trouble. This is fine. Five years from now, you might feel the same or it might be different. Remember, there's no right or wrong to this.
That is your decision to make and when it comes down to it, you need to take care of #1 (yourself). Choosing to not have a relationship doesn't have to be a finite decision as you can always leave the door open in the future if he were to ever clean up his act and act like a father.
there is a help group for children and spouses of alcoholic parents called Al Anon. check them out. they can be of big help