I’ve waited all my life…
To cross this line,
To be a lady so fine,
But it’s just too late a time.
I have to see you hurting,
With these two eyes of mine,
With this broken heart of mine.
I’ve waited all my life…
To find this person I am,
To praise my God for all I have,
But it’s just too late a time.
I have to see you hating me,
Not trusting me anymore,
Not in love with me anymore.
I’ve waited all my life…
To love you with all my heart,
To save us from going apart,
But it’s just too late a time.
I have to see you leaving me,
In my worst nightmare,
In a life I could not bear.
--->i know this is not really great, but i just need to let out the negative feelings that i have through this poem. I feel a lot better after writing this piece! ;-)
Update:Thanks everyone...i'll try to search for that song, baby baby.
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
You have worked it out. You used energy and ideas to make a poetic statement. The internal rhymes are very nice.
I think it's a great poem and Curly has a point and I've just realised that I've done that a few times as well. But aside from that I think that the repetition was good, the rhyming scheme isn't all that great but the meaning and emotion is. Keep it up.
well actually
its a lot better than some of the stuff on here
at least i could feel some emotion coming through
glad that it also helped you to write it
it takes a special person to be able to communicate like that
all the best
Ian
ps , just read what curly said , wow how pretentious can some people be !!!
Thank you for sharing part of yourself with all of us. You exposed your heart and feelings in such a way that we get to see the real you now.
I am also sorry for your pain as expressed in your poem. I have been there before myself, so I sort of know what you are going through. I feel for you and wish I could offer some words that might help sooth you. Suffice to say, you have many friends here who do care for you. I am one of them.
It is really beautiful. There is so much essence and content in it. That's what I like about poetry, you can always say things and have closure without pointing right at a person and saying that it is you. Prose somehow hints more. There is so much pleasure in poetry..:)
Never tell the audience what to think. Let them see the poem, naked. Don't clothe it in the riches and rags of your own opinion. Let the audience hear it, as it truly is - let them taste it.
When they come to it they will clothe it on their own, independent of your opinion. They may clothe what you call ugly with riches and honor, or they may clothe what you call beautiful with rags. Let them clothe it.
If they compliment you, say thank you.
True beauty neither needs to be propped up, nor put down. It stands on its own. Let your poem stand on its own.
It was a good poem until you apologized for it.
It's really good, and that says a lot coming from me because I usually HATE, HATE, HATE poems that rhyme.
Never apologize for your poetry, it's yours and no one else's. If it means something and helps you that's all that matters.
I Love It. it all most made me cry.it sounded alot like my life.the up's and down's I've had to live. am glad it made you feel better on writting it girl. but you much be going though alot of deep hard feelings for someone.or life it self. or just maybe you are at a place where you feel sad,or maybe your around alot of negative people. but anyhow, I really Loved it, for me it said alot of my lost,painful,Loves I've had to let go,or they let me go and I feeled alot of wasted time I did for someone to take so much time to Hurt me.. Listen to Carrie Underwood song Wasted. take care friend, Baby.Baby
I am glad you are feeling better after writing this, and I hope it is for good.
It's sad, but there are many things I recognize in this poem...
it's my life
to link all words
the millions meaning could it be
jus to let you know
how i fell