Verified answer

Nah I bet you look totally hot in a suit. Just cling to that.

Of course I'm probably biased....but I stand by my point.

You will need to perform the sacred ritual..

You will need:

3 cups strawberry jam (Smucker's preferred)

2 large buttermilk biscuits from KFC

1- 4 foot length of green garden hose

1 live chicken

Spread the jam on the biscuits then feed the biscuits to the chicken through the garden hose while hopping on 1 foot and chanting

Hop hop hop...

I just can't,

Stop stop stop.

Cluckity cluck cluck

I fell like a

Silly little **ck..

3 times...

Please video the ritual and post on You Tube..

Thank you...

Drink a 6 pack, tell a few dirty jokes and get some intervention from us other atheists on here and you'll be ok in no time at all.

Try using a thong under the suit.

Switch your salad topping to "I can't believe it's not Satanic!" Way less calories and it'll put that evil bounce right back into your step. Look for it in your supermarket or gourmet shop today!

What should you do? .. make your own bloody decisions and stop asking us of course. (That was of course said in a *real friendly* way :D)

But if you're bored I suggest acting like God and asking people for things. "I like your ...[insert desired item here] .. give it to me" usually works. For real fun try brandishing a potato peeler while admiring someone's tattoos.

.

.

Tattoo 666 on your forehead

Quit your job, and become a bum, that asks for spare change, and terrorises people at traffic lights.... Thats dark and negative! I hate it when they do that and it upset me, and I get scared...so there ya go! Solved.

Have a babbie BBQ sandwich. It always makes me feel better.

Are you sure it's the suit and tie? Maybe it's those Goody-Two-Shoes Japanese spoiling your evil.