She and I are due a week apart from each other. She’s pregnant with twin girls and I just found out I’m having a girl too. I remember a couple months ago she told me the names she was going to use for her girls, but I honestly didn’t remember them. Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago when I had a dream that I named my baby Evelynn. I didn’t even know my baby was a girl yet at this point. Then I find out my baby is a girl AND Evelynn is my husband’s grandma’s name. Score! So I’m sitting here thinking that it’s destiny that I had a dream about that name.
Then, today we have a gender reveal party. Pregnant best friend is there too. Everyone finds out it’s a girl and we tell them her name is Evelynn. Meanwhile, best friend is all quiet and she leaves after a while. My sister asks, “Is she angry? Did you steal her baby name or something?” And I’m like, “No! I would never do that! I don’t even remember her names. How could I steal it?”
So then Husband tells me that actually Best Friend mentioned to him at the party that Evelynn was one of her names. Also, probably the reason I dreamt about Evelynn was because she told me the name first. I’m so confused! I told her about my dream a while ago and I don’t remember her saying anything about it being one of her names. But maybe my stupid pregnant brain forgot that she did? I don’t know what to do! I personally don’t care if we have girls with the same name. I don’t want her to change her name because of me. Advice?
Answers & Comments
This is obviously a troll question because you've provided way too many irrelevant details that don't matter, just to make it a story.
This is as much about your relationship with your friend, as the naming of children.
It would certainly be understandable if you were given an idea for a name, and inadvertently chose something she had mentioned to you. It seems unlikely, however, that she had the connection with that particular name that you do.
Go talk to her, and tell her that you honestly feel as though you may have collided, but that this is actually a family name in your case. That doesn't takeaway from the fact that it may seem as if you co-opted it from her list, but you didn't mean to do it. Do what you can to repair your relationship, and suggest to her that you both use the name, and maybe you could think quickly of a nickname you will be using that is different enough to distinguish them. It could be anything- perhaps referring to her other grandmother?
Adults who care about each other find ways to compromise, and ways to forgive mistakes. Agree to communicate better from now on- because this sounds like an important friendship you don't want to lose.
Hopefully, someday this will be a family legend and mutual joke- there were THREE little girls in my sister's elementary classes with her same name. The scourge of every teacher who had them, they looked like triplets, and of course they were best friends. To this day, after they've both married and had kids, two of them are still besties, and the only ones worse for wear were the poor teachers!
Give her the name.
There are way better names out there. I'm sure you'll find one you love. Just let 'Evelynn' go.
No one "owns" the exclusive rights to a name and your neighbor/BFF today may not be tomorrow. I think you just have to talk to her and be honest. right now you don't even know if she will care.
Keep the name. A true friend will get over it.
Talk to her about it.
Sadly this has caused a rift and friendship is very important. I think I personally would go to her and say how sorry you are this occurred and ask her advice on other very pretty names that she could suggest for your little one. Then as an added extra, ask her to be the Godmother too.
Talk to your friend. Tell her you are worried about this and don't want it to come between your friendship. This sometimes happens when two people are due close together. You could even just like the same name. This is why I told my daughter to keep her baby's name to herself.
Decide if the name is more important to you, or the friendship. Remember that she has to pick TWO names and that can't be too easy. Eliminating one of the names might change the whole plan for her and put her back to square one. Even if she says she doesn't mind, she probably wouldn't want you both to use the same name.
Perhaps you could use that name as a middle name. Consider some other cute but similar names: Everly, Emberly,l Ava.
Others might be Kinsley, Teagan, Annalyse, Eloise.
Kinsley Evelyn
Kinsley Aurora
Aurora Evelyn (Rory)
Brynlee Aurora
Eloise Amberlee
You can also look up baby girl names beginning with E and find there may be some you like even better.
UPDATE: Elodie, Ella
Nobody owns a name.
People can name their children the same name.
I have first cousins with the first name.
If you want to name Evelyn, do so.
You may want to talk to your friend.
You need to understands, her feelings are her feelings.
If she is hurt, it's not wrong.
If you talk to her about this, her hurt feelings could come out.
I hate when people say, someone stole a name.
You can't, names are not property
I'd say, talk with her. Let her know the situation, and find out if that really was one of her names. If not, then find out what happened, but if so, maybe think of a way to get through it together, and maybe brainstorm more names. It could be a good bonding time as well.