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"Fred, I can't pay for all of this. I don't have that kind of money."

Why don't you have a set budget, and why doesn't your fiance know how much it is?

If you're ready to marry someone, this shouldn't be a hard conversation. You should be able to talk with him about anything. That being said, the cost of the wedding doesn't fall on the bride alone. The groom shares the expenses. If he's expecting you and your family to foot the entire bill and telling you that you have to pay for the bridesmaid's dresses, then you're marrying the wrong guy. Tell him the wedding is off until he starts paying for 1/2 or more of everything.

You need to sit down and have a candid discussion with your fiance. Inability to talk to your spouse about money and financial stress is a #1 reason couples divorce.

Before you talk about it:

1. Work out what you can afford. How much do you have saved and how much can you add to that between now & the wedding?

2. What can you do yourself so you don't have to pay for it?

3. What can you do without?

4. How much is the wedding going to cost?

5. Can the wedding be postponed or scaled down to make it more affordable?

Put your emotions on hold and talk honestly and openly to your fiance about where you're at money-wise, and possible solutions you've come up with. Then give him some time to digest what you've told him, think it over, maybe talk to his family about it, then come back to you with his ideas on solving your first marital problem :)

Also,

Can your family contribute by doing rather than paying? Like making the wedding cake, table centre-pieces, bonbonieries, printing invitations and programs from your home computer, etc? It gives them the opportunity to contribute without causing them further financial distress.

You tell him exactly as you have told us...if you can not be honest with 'bad' things as well as 'good' things, then you have a serious problem even before you exchange your vows....

You determine what you CAN afford and show it to fiance....if his family and he, himself want all the bells and whistles, well, this is 2013, NOT 1813.....now a days who ever has the money and is willing, they finance the kind of wedding they are will to pay for and can afford. Time for Fiance to get his head out of the clouds and face Reality. If neither you nor your family can afford the kind of wedding he/his family want, they either accept what CAN be afforded, or they pony up the money themselves.

Hopefully if you are marrying this person, you can sit down and talk about important things like money. It doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing either you or can't afford the wedding. Talk about how you will pay for it and lay out your financial situation and talk it through.

Of course you need to sit down with him PRONTO and make him aware that the wedding is getting too expensive. But I would have thought that, knowing what has been going on in your family, common sense should have told him that an elaborate wedding is beyond your means.

instead of saying i cant afford all of this you pay it. talk about scaling down aspects of the wedding.

you need to be honest with him because if you dont tell him and your family pay out more and more and more they might start to resent him for it.

Tell the truth - gently and honestly - if he has an issue with that then he isn't worth marrying.

Your bridesmaids should be paying for their own dresses, and I think it's pretty crazy you guys didn't discuss this before.....were you just being too hopeful it would all work out? Does your fiance' have money or is it his family that has the money? I think instead of bascially telling him you can't afford what you guys have been planning and then basically hinting to him to get the rest of the money...that you should sit down with him and discuss scaling the wedding back because you and your family just can't make it work financially, cutting the guestlist, etc...that's the responsible thing to do. If he says no to the cutbacks and ends up draining his trust fund to pay for hte wedding then that's on him....and at least you tried to do the right thing. These days parents shoudln't be burdened to pay for weddings, which have become impossible to afford.

Hi baby g...congrats on the wedding, you two need to sit down and really have a heart to heart, put your truth on the table and you should come to an agreement, just remember a wedding is about you two...yes what you put in is what you get out but some of things you can do your self like your invites, favors, centerpieces and shop wholesale which will save a lot of money and that way that money can be put other places, as far as bridesmaid dresses..ahhhhh no they pay, its their dress, their shoes. Also cut down on people coming does your third cousin that you saw once in your life, do they really have to come? Do you have to have a seafood platter or can we do a nice chicken meal. Have fun, its your day and you still have to live an eat when all is said and done, good luck & congrats again ;0)

Just tell him what you told us. Gotta do it and you can't say it any nicer than the above, but do it like now since you only have 7 months to work on everything.