Me and my ex girlfriend dated for two years she was 22 I’m 26 we worked together. We went through hell and back together. She left me both times once for a ex, then came back a week later. The second time she started talking to a co worker behind my back. Then she started sleeping with him. My heart is broken. This happened a month ago. I did everything for her like help buy a house, start school, therapy. We were so close like best friends and a couple. I moved here to be with her I did everything I loved her more then I have loved before. I stayed with her through everything she put me through. She manipulated me, lied to me, talked to people behind my back. She blamed her problems on not having a dad around. I helped her through alcohol and marijuana addiction. I stayed through absolutely everything. I wanted to marry this girl. She always was quick to leave or assume “everyone leaves” so she had a bleak view of relationships. Guys before me in the office just used her for sex. I was different took her out every weekend did all I mentioned above. Showed her what a true man was was there when she was down and out. Did all the little things. She was scared to commit. I left my job because seeing her with other guy broke me. She started posting on social media for things for me to see. I decided it was best to block on all social media. I have 2 questions how long does it take to move on? 2 will she ever regret throwing me away a guy who loved her unconditionally?
Answers & Comments
Watch the33secrets on YouTube he will teach you alot. Girls don't give a dam s hit if you cared for them bro
Really sorry you went through all this. On how long it takes that varies from person to person, but your healing will begin as soon as you look at this more objectively. Sometimes it helps to re-read your question and pretend a friend wrote it asking you what to do, because you're missing the big picture.
What's obvious here is you have her on some kind of pedestal, meanwhile ignoring red flags everywhere. You say you "love her", but there's not one thing you mentioned that has anything to do with love. Love is a give and take, not one person doing all the giving and the other doing the taking. Maybe you got too caught up in the idea of being her knight in shining armor, saving her from herself. You call her a "best friend". Seriously?! My husband is my best friend, and I can promise he'd never do any of these things you mentioned.
When you say you wanted to marry her, this is downright scary. She has cheated on you, used you, and manipulated you. Is this a good lifetime plan? You have a lot to offer. Is this really all you think you're worth?
Two months isn't long to recover, but just do the usual things. Surround yourself with people, stay busy, get off her fake social media, and just push through it. I have a feeling she'll try to get back in touch, and I really hope for your sake you're far enough along in your recovery process to run for the hills.
If we are using cognitive psychology properly, it should not take more than 4-8 months at the most.
If it has been longer than that, you should talk to a therapist to learn how to get over someone.
Until then, don't be alarmed by your pain. It is a natural reaction to the withdrawal of something your brain has become used to and, yes, it IS a form of "withdrawal symptoms".
And like all withdrawal symptoms, the more you feed that habit, the stronger the habit gets. While the more you refuse to participate in it, the weaker it becomes.
For a smoker, feeding the habit would be lighting up another cigarette, and weakening it would be refusing to light up a cigarette.
For a lover, feeding the habit would be allowing our mind to dwell on thoughts of the person when they pop up into our mind, and weakening the habit would be forcefully turning our thoughts onto something else (anything else, as long as it has nothing to do with her or how you are feeling with her gone).
It is up to you.
Even just writing this out has fed your habit, prolonging your recovery.
For future references ... relationships that ARE going to last do NOT have conflict until they have been living together for 1-3 years. Conflict before then is a very bad indication.
Also, the first time she left you, you failed to learn. Couples who CAN make it work do NOT break up. So breaking up is the clearest indication we can possibly receive that the two of us are not compatible and are NOT going to make it last.
Take some time off dating. Our subconscious determines who we do and don't get attracted to, and when we have been attracted to someone who is selfish and unstable (as this girl was), this means that our subconscious is NOT looking for a healthy happy lasting relationship .. but that it thinks we deserve to suffer.
So clear this up. Get some therapy. Take some time (5 years is ideal) getting your own relationship with yourself cleaned up, because if you don't then you will only become involved with someone else who will also break your heart.
Will she ever regret throwing you away? No. That is not how we humans rationalize our behaviors and choices. She will think she is justified in leaving you, or she will focus on how much she and her ex were "meant" for each other.