Forgiveness is not about whether the other person deserves it. Forgiveness is about letting go and not allowing what others have done to poison one's life...
The hardest thing to do is to forgive and forget. How often have I heard thouse words growing up and even know as an adult. Can't you just forgive and forget? It's so hard to let go thouse things that hurt us most which most of the time are words. Now stop right now if you think this is a blog of self pity. It's not it's simple insight into some the most common problems we face today.
My boyfriend and I got in a fight today. I always hate when we do that. It's always thouse little things that tear us apart. Anyways It was about something ridculous he asked me to clean the kitchen and I told him that I always to do and that he doesn't need to tell me. What he failed to communicate was that he was going to cook breakfast today so he needed my help. I was under the impression that I was going to cook. So the fight escalated. Anyways it escaleted to the point that he said I was scarred (emotionally) from my past and now he was having to suffer about that. Know I told him not to dare put that stigma on me. I'm damaged goods. I'm scarred! That's where the anger built up. How could he say I was scarred How could bring up that he had a job and I didn't when he knew full well the circumstances of why I didn't. I may be emotionally scarred as he says or damaged goods but you know what I prefer the word survivor. If anyone dares to label me. Anyways let me stop ranting for a moment. SO back to the Point. Am I suppose to forget what became a fight over dishes that turned up to bring out the ugly of my past. Does he deserve my fogivness no. But my memory can I command it to forget. My point is.... We will never forget the hurts people caused us. We will never forget the pain of the moment the anger the betryal of trust. But we can do is let go. SOund new age huh . The truth of the matter is no one deserves forgivness. NO One! We all have done things not worth forgiving some more than others. The fact of the matter is forgivness isn't about the other person. It's about you. The emothional happy part of you that will die inside if continues to harbor the bitter weed of resentment. This is a subject with no easy anwsers and soltuions. It's very simple if the person changes then they can be given your love and forgivness but if not then all you can do is forgive and forget them.
Great Question. You know I used to think the same way, and I still do sometimes. We aren't perfect, we make mistakes and if one day we let someone down and they don't want to forgive us because they think we don't need to be forgiven I'm sure we will feel very sad and ashamed. Just like God can forgive nations and nations, can't we forgive one another? God has asked us to forgive others like he forgives us, and I admit it is very hard to do sometimes but we just have to forgive and forget because if we only "forgive" but don't forget and we hold grudges well then that's as bad as not forgiving at all. We are also asked by the Lord to love everyone, even our enemies, this may be really hard to do but praying and a healthy relationship with God may help us along the way. I hope you may be able to forgive this person you can't seem to forgive, I will pray that God may help you do so.
Alot of praying and seeking God. I couldn't do it without ALOT of help from Jesus. Especially dealing with people that I know will do the same kind of thing again. Basically it's a choice rather than a feeling. If we waited until we felt like it we probably would never do it. Right?
One thing I learned is that the most powerful point that we can choose to forgive is right in the face of the pain of what they do to hurt us. Then, it gets easier with time. It's an amazing feeling of grace and freedom to be able to let it go. It's well worth the effort.
It isn't for us to judge how forgiveable they SEEM or how deserving they are we are required to forgive ALL MEN and God alone can decide to forgive whom He will forgive. It's clear - if we want forgiveness we MUST forgive. WHATEVER it takes to bring that about in difficult situations or with seemingly undeserving people is entirely up to us - we just gotta DO IT. Some just take more time than others.
A person can forgive another. That doesn't mean you'd necessarily trust them.
Forgiving a person is having clarity to see the "lesson" that's been unveiled.
Was issue that was to be forgiven a first time thing for the person ? If so you forgive, discuss it, release it then move forward.
Is there a consistent pattern to what the person did ? If so, forgive them, yet also keep in place awareness if the person can be trusted in society, with responsibilities, your or others hearts . . .
Forgiveness can sincerely be reflected, yet that doesn't necessarily mean that person will be allowed to be in your personal space such as socializing with them, talking to them in any length, etc.
To forgive is to RELEASE yourself and the other person to that experience.
Honor the "gift" of experience. " Sour " experiences happen as they do. Experience and wisdom can still be gained from any " glitchy " experience.
Forgiveness isn't as much for the other person as it is for you . They may never apologize for the hurt they caused you . But your forgiving them anyway sets your heart and life free from the bondage of hurt and anger they put you through .
By forgiving them even if they don't deserve it sets you free . And As Christ forgave us and gave Himself for us cause He loved us ( we didn't deserve it either), so are we to do unto others . We forgive them and love them anyway , and that sets us free and maybe one day they will see the truth and set them free as well .
One doesnt have to stay around that person , but one can show that person the compassion when they are around just the same .
Forgiving others releases YOU from holding on to a grudge or bitterness. It doesn't release them until they repent and ask for forgiveness but by you doing it, it keeps the roots of bitterness from growing.
Also, Forgive and forget is not Scriptural. I would rather remember and learn from the mistake than forget and repeat it.
Forgiving is not holding this offense against them. God will forgive you AS YOU forgive others.
By Grace through faith trusting that the Lord Jesus will give you the strength following His example from the Cross.
Luke 23:34 Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”[a]
And they divided His garments and cast lots.
Footnotes:
[a]Luke 23:34 NU-Text brackets the first sentence as a later addition.
Following a human example allow me to add this for those that say that was Jesus and he was God the second person of the Blessed Trinity.
I am a human
Acts 7:50 Has My hand not made all these things?’[a]
Israel Resists the Holy Spirit
51 “You stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears! You always resist the Holy Spirit; as your fathers did, so do you. 52 Which of the prophets did your fathers not persecute? And they killed those who foretold the coming of the Just One, of whom you now have become the betrayers and murderers, 53 who have received the law by the direction of angels and have not kept it.”
Stephen the Martyr
54 When they heard these things they were cut to the heart, and they gnashed at him with their teeth. 55 But he, being full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God, 56 and said, “Look! I see the heavens opened and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God!”
57 Then they cried out with a loud voice, stopped their ears, and ran at him with one accord; 58 and they cast him out of the city and stoned him. And the witnesses laid down their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul. 59 And they stoned Stephen as he was calling on God and saying, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” 60 Then he knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not charge them with this sin.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep.
When Jesus was hanging on the cross, he said father, forgive them for they don't know what they are doing. If Jesus can forgive the people who beat him, hung him on a cross and killed him, we can forgive others because in 100 years, who's gonna care?
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
Forgiveness is not about whether the other person deserves it. Forgiveness is about letting go and not allowing what others have done to poison one's life...
The hardest thing to do is to forgive and forget. How often have I heard thouse words growing up and even know as an adult. Can't you just forgive and forget? It's so hard to let go thouse things that hurt us most which most of the time are words. Now stop right now if you think this is a blog of self pity. It's not it's simple insight into some the most common problems we face today.
My boyfriend and I got in a fight today. I always hate when we do that. It's always thouse little things that tear us apart. Anyways It was about something ridculous he asked me to clean the kitchen and I told him that I always to do and that he doesn't need to tell me. What he failed to communicate was that he was going to cook breakfast today so he needed my help. I was under the impression that I was going to cook. So the fight escalated. Anyways it escaleted to the point that he said I was scarred (emotionally) from my past and now he was having to suffer about that. Know I told him not to dare put that stigma on me. I'm damaged goods. I'm scarred! That's where the anger built up. How could he say I was scarred How could bring up that he had a job and I didn't when he knew full well the circumstances of why I didn't. I may be emotionally scarred as he says or damaged goods but you know what I prefer the word survivor. If anyone dares to label me. Anyways let me stop ranting for a moment. SO back to the Point. Am I suppose to forget what became a fight over dishes that turned up to bring out the ugly of my past. Does he deserve my fogivness no. But my memory can I command it to forget. My point is.... We will never forget the hurts people caused us. We will never forget the pain of the moment the anger the betryal of trust. But we can do is let go. SOund new age huh . The truth of the matter is no one deserves forgivness. NO One! We all have done things not worth forgiving some more than others. The fact of the matter is forgivness isn't about the other person. It's about you. The emothional happy part of you that will die inside if continues to harbor the bitter weed of resentment. This is a subject with no easy anwsers and soltuions. It's very simple if the person changes then they can be given your love and forgivness but if not then all you can do is forgive and forget them.
Great Question. You know I used to think the same way, and I still do sometimes. We aren't perfect, we make mistakes and if one day we let someone down and they don't want to forgive us because they think we don't need to be forgiven I'm sure we will feel very sad and ashamed. Just like God can forgive nations and nations, can't we forgive one another? God has asked us to forgive others like he forgives us, and I admit it is very hard to do sometimes but we just have to forgive and forget because if we only "forgive" but don't forget and we hold grudges well then that's as bad as not forgiving at all. We are also asked by the Lord to love everyone, even our enemies, this may be really hard to do but praying and a healthy relationship with God may help us along the way. I hope you may be able to forgive this person you can't seem to forgive, I will pray that God may help you do so.
http://www.heavensinspirations.com/word-forgivenes...
GOD BLESS
Alot of praying and seeking God. I couldn't do it without ALOT of help from Jesus. Especially dealing with people that I know will do the same kind of thing again. Basically it's a choice rather than a feeling. If we waited until we felt like it we probably would never do it. Right?
One thing I learned is that the most powerful point that we can choose to forgive is right in the face of the pain of what they do to hurt us. Then, it gets easier with time. It's an amazing feeling of grace and freedom to be able to let it go. It's well worth the effort.
It isn't for us to judge how forgiveable they SEEM or how deserving they are we are required to forgive ALL MEN and God alone can decide to forgive whom He will forgive. It's clear - if we want forgiveness we MUST forgive. WHATEVER it takes to bring that about in difficult situations or with seemingly undeserving people is entirely up to us - we just gotta DO IT. Some just take more time than others.
.
A person can forgive another. That doesn't mean you'd necessarily trust them.
Forgiving a person is having clarity to see the "lesson" that's been unveiled.
Was issue that was to be forgiven a first time thing for the person ? If so you forgive, discuss it, release it then move forward.
Is there a consistent pattern to what the person did ? If so, forgive them, yet also keep in place awareness if the person can be trusted in society, with responsibilities, your or others hearts . . .
Forgiveness can sincerely be reflected, yet that doesn't necessarily mean that person will be allowed to be in your personal space such as socializing with them, talking to them in any length, etc.
To forgive is to RELEASE yourself and the other person to that experience.
Honor the "gift" of experience. " Sour " experiences happen as they do. Experience and wisdom can still be gained from any " glitchy " experience.
.
Forgiveness isn't as much for the other person as it is for you . They may never apologize for the hurt they caused you . But your forgiving them anyway sets your heart and life free from the bondage of hurt and anger they put you through .
By forgiving them even if they don't deserve it sets you free . And As Christ forgave us and gave Himself for us cause He loved us ( we didn't deserve it either), so are we to do unto others . We forgive them and love them anyway , and that sets us free and maybe one day they will see the truth and set them free as well .
One doesnt have to stay around that person , but one can show that person the compassion when they are around just the same .
Forgiving others releases YOU from holding on to a grudge or bitterness. It doesn't release them until they repent and ask for forgiveness but by you doing it, it keeps the roots of bitterness from growing.
Also, Forgive and forget is not Scriptural. I would rather remember and learn from the mistake than forget and repeat it.
Forgiving is not holding this offense against them. God will forgive you AS YOU forgive others.
By Grace through faith trusting that the Lord Jesus will give you the strength following His example from the Cross.
Luke 23:34 Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”[a]
And they divided His garments and cast lots.
Footnotes:
[a]Luke 23:34 NU-Text brackets the first sentence as a later addition.
Following a human example allow me to add this for those that say that was Jesus and he was God the second person of the Blessed Trinity.
I am a human
Acts 7:50 Has My hand not made all these things?’[a]
Israel Resists the Holy Spirit
51 “You stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears! You always resist the Holy Spirit; as your fathers did, so do you. 52 Which of the prophets did your fathers not persecute? And they killed those who foretold the coming of the Just One, of whom you now have become the betrayers and murderers, 53 who have received the law by the direction of angels and have not kept it.”
Stephen the Martyr
54 When they heard these things they were cut to the heart, and they gnashed at him with their teeth. 55 But he, being full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God, 56 and said, “Look! I see the heavens opened and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God!”
57 Then they cried out with a loud voice, stopped their ears, and ran at him with one accord; 58 and they cast him out of the city and stoned him. And the witnesses laid down their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul. 59 And they stoned Stephen as he was calling on God and saying, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” 60 Then he knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not charge them with this sin.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep.
Footnotes:
Acts 7:50 Isaiah 66:1, 2
DFF
When Jesus was hanging on the cross, he said father, forgive them for they don't know what they are doing. If Jesus can forgive the people who beat him, hung him on a cross and killed him, we can forgive others because in 100 years, who's gonna care?