So I met this guy about a month ago through a mutual friend. We were texting a lot and found we had much in common, and we had very good conversation. He told me that he’s broken up with his ex of almost two and a half years (my mistake, probably shouldn’t have allowed it to move forward as you need time to grow a mature from a situation like that.) he said him and his ex fought a lot and she was very insecure. I talked him through it and he said I was really wise and he appreciated me. We started dating a few days after our first date and it was bliss! We went to the movies, mall, he came over my house and I could tell he was passionate about me. Then he tells me last week that he wasn’t ready for a relationship as he forgot what it was like to be alone, and that he didn’t t tell me because he was trying to fight his conflicting feelings and ignore them, but he realized they weren’t working. The crazy thing is I didn’t really notice anything was of. He texted me first, and always gave me full attention, so this came as a huge blow. After he told me I was visibly upset so he comforted me and put some music on until he had to leave. He was still hugging and kissing me. I’m trying to move on, but does this sound like a union that I should just forget about? Or does it sound like after giving it some time we could get back together?
Answers & Comments
means he is not interested on anything serious at all, pretty possible he is seeing other people as well, on the other hand don't be surprise if some other girl shows up and out of no where he is ready for a relationship. that's how it goes.
Anytime a guy says he isn't ready for a relationship it means he wants no strings casual sex. That way when he dumps you he can just say you weren't together and doesn't owe you any kind of explanation.
If he says he’s not ready for a relationship, then he means it. Unfortunately, he is not ready to commit to you and get into something serious with you (and probably not with anyone at this stage). I think he needs more time to himself to fully get over his previous relationship and grieve properly. Sometimes that takes longer than we think.
I know it’s hard to hear it, but trust me honey, if he was the right guy for you then he would be 100% sure about starting a real relationship with you.
Don’t settle for second best. I know you might really like him, but remember that you deserve a guy who is TOTALLY keen about committing to you and is completely sure that they want to be with you.
It sounds like you overly invested in a man you only met a month ago and don't really know very well at all. Lots of people date a few times and then realize it's not the right thing for them to be doing at that time for a very wide variety of reasons. The trick is to not assign a fault to totally human and predictable behaviors. And, as you imply, you knew the score here from the getgo. But didn't want it to be true. He likely didn't want it to be true either. Still, it stands. Any "getting back together" must, intelligently, be treated with the fact that he's not looking to get into a relationship. That's not a "giving it some time" so much as a fundamental fact.