Feeling really weird and I don’t know why ?
for the past month I’ve taken mdma every weekend, I hadn’t really tried it before - I mean I think I tried it once when I was drunk but that’s it. I don’t know if maybe that has something to do with how I’m feeling or maybe it’s just all the stress with covid but I feel very disconnected from everyone and really just numb/ nothing going on in my brain. I feel like my friends don’t really care for being around me anymore (the ones I literally have been taking mdma with every weekend) I don’t even feel sad, happy anything - I’m kind of just existing. I have depression and anxiety and lately I’ve been so depressed and have been having suicidal thoughts. I just don’t really know what’s wrong with me
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Hey, you’ll get through this.
Any recreational drug you take has negative effects on you. Even if you overdose on it. Best not to take any type of drug—only prescribed ones—but don’t go overboard either.
I’m sure everybody has been feeling at least some kind of “out of character”, or not themselves lately. It might also be stress from Covid that can contribute to that too & with Mdma (together), it is worse.
I’ve felt emotionalless these past 7 or 8 months. I stopped talking to my friends from school. When I was younger, I thought nobody cared about my existence. Whenever I entered the cafeteria, I felt unwanted. I shouldn’t even be there feeling. Everybody around me was having a good time as it seemed. People were laughing, having a good time. This was middle school for me. I was known as the “stalker” girl. I felt out of place, just existing in the background. I felt better being unnoticed than being noticed, yet in elementary school, I wanted all eyes on me. It wasn’t until 6th-8th grade when I felt it wasn’t for me nor necessary. I knew people would make fun of me. It was so obvious, so I ran...ran away from spotlight. Some days even in high school, my brain is emtpy with no thoughts. I tried erasing the past through meditation and praying and deleting every picture from my past on social media and electronics trying to get rid of all it. By accident, my old phone stopped working without my own intention—I forgot the password and tried remembering but completely forgot. I felt so sad. I didn’t know what to do anymore not even to this day. Like life seems going on. I don’t take drugs nor anything. I’m not on anything nor drink at all. It is from my own emotions being taken away from me.
You’re not alone. It could also be you realizing things more. I believe you need a new set of friends and somebody to talk to.
Take care!
We don't know either.