你可以班助我！！！does this sound right in chinese???
第一個週末
這個週末是Memorial Day 週末。Memorial Day 是一個天要過節和鳴謝那個士兵給我們自由，人權，還有越發 。
我的家裏人去湖玩兒。 我們也有一個很好吃的燒烤。
海有， 這個週末我收到我的第一個手機！我的圓滑手幾是一個銀色的Blackberry Curve!
全部的這個Memorial Day 週末是太好了！
真誠,
林嘉鑫
第二個週末
這週是太好了！昨天, 在美國學校, 我的英文老師宣布我們有一個服裝表演！這說我們要去學校打扮我們的最喜歡的裝備还有行走，扭轉，和冒充一个模型。两个天較早前，我們也有一个有名额模特兒去我們的學校，幫助提高我們的技能。這是太好玩啊！
不但這個是投射是太好玩兒，而且是教育。我們要寫一個散文描述我們的裝備。所以，我在行走時候，一個同學要看你的描述。
真誠,
林嘉鑫
can you read this and edit it?
is the grammar ok?
can you translate it, and then tell me what it is translated to in chinese?
please?
Update:umm... also... don't use google translate. it sucks. and doesnt translate well.
i just want a person in fluent chinese to edit and proofread it.
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你可以幫助我！！！-it should be幫助(bang zhu), not 班助.
第一個週末
這個週末是Memorial Day。Memorial Day 是一個用來感謝那些士兵給了我們自由，人權，……的節日。
我的家裏人去湖玩兒了。 我們也吃了一頓很好吃的燒烤。
還有， 這個週末我收到我的第一個手機！我的圓滑手幾是一個銀色的Blackberry Curve!
這個Memorial Day 週末一切都真是太好了！
此致,
林嘉鑫
第二個週末
這週末太好了！昨天, 在美國學校, 我的英文老師宣布我們會有一個服裝表演！還說我們要去學校打扮，帶上我們的最喜歡的裝備...
這個計劃不但太好玩兒了，而且還是教育。我們要寫一個散文來描述我們的裝備。所以...
此致,
林嘉鑫
this is it in english from chinese
First weekend this weekend is Memorial the Day weekend. Memorial Day is one day must celebrate a holiday and acknowledge that soldier to be free for us, human rights, but also has even more. My family member goes to the lake to play. We also have a very delicious baking. The sea has, this weekend I receive the my first handset! My smooth hand several are silver Blackberry Curve! Complete this Memorial Day weekend was too good! Sincere, Lin Jiaxin Second weekend this week was too good! Yesterday, in the American School, my English teacher announced we have a fashion show! This said that we must go to the equipment which the school dresses up us most to like also to have the line… Not only this is the projection is too good plays, moreover is the education. We must write a prose to describe our equipment. Therefore… Sincere, Lin Jiaxin