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( I used more than six words. Couldn't help myself!!)

Once upon a time, I was at my local bar for a Christmas party thrown for losers like me who don't have family nearby and are glad for that fact. I walked in, and some idiot yells across the room "Oh look! Here comes the latest graduate from the University of DUH!" I just smiled, and from across the room came a shriek of laughter. It was Sunshine, the newly released ex con from the penetentiary. He was sitting there talking about all of his experiences in the pen, and what got him there. He kept rambling off about something, and then I overheard an innocent bystander asking "Does the eggnog taste good or did I put in too much hot fudge?" I thought to myself "Goal for 2008- get a REAL life".

After a few drinks, I started to feel better and noticed that some people I talk to when I am at the bar were there. I decided to walk over and talk to them, even though they were dressed like elves and reindeer. Hell, everyone has a different way of celebrating. A friend of mine who was nicknamed Stud introduced me to his "date". It did not take a genius to figure out that she was really a he/she, and I wondered what was really going on. Stud said to me, I know what your thinking, but she's really actually pretty cool. She does tricks with fire and stuff like that. She's brilliant; pretending to be a moron to cover up being a jackass. I responded, "Oh I see. I see. That would account for the wacky personality."

Stud said: "Yeh, my date is a cross between Sitting Bull and Elmer Fudd. I know that is kinda hard to understand, but one day you'll understand what I mean. "

Sunshine was still talking about some crazy stuff, and a girl that was sitting there listening to that crap said "Sooo..was that before or after you saw Bigfoot?"

He replied, "After of course. One can only get sloppy drunk and show up at a Police Gala if he has been through some seriously weird stuff as of late."

For an ex-con, Sunshine spoke incredibly well. I was amazed.

Some girls were dancing in Santa costumes on the stage, and you could tell they had already drank too much because they were begging Sunshine to come join them. Soon enough, the innocent dancing became a strip show, of which most of the patrons in the bar started to partake. I don't know what was in that eggnog for real, but I patted myself on the back for not drinking it.

A transvestite got on stage, gave a toast to Madonna, and started belting out a horrible rendition of "Don't Cry for me Argentina!" I was hoping that Argentinga would cry and make this dude or whatever it is shutup. I was just starting to get into the scene when, a top of the roof there arose such a clatter, that I rose from my barstool to see what was the matter. And what to my wandering eyes should appear, but a United states marshall with a keg full of beer!

"Uhhhh, has anyone seen Sunshine?" asked a worried US marshall Matt Dillon.

" No but I saw your last three movies and they suck worse than a Chinese whore with no mouth!!" it was Sunshine, and he had a gun filled with jellybeans and paintballs, what a combo. He ran outside with three of the stripper fgirls, and out ran Matt Dillon the "Us Marshall" after him yelling behind him, "If Im not back in 5 minutes, call the FBI!!!"

Turns out that Sunshine had ran over his granma with a reindeer, and thats why he had been in the pen since he was ten. What a Christmas!

so i went to this xmas party and my friend Angie's house and they were talking about Big Foot for some reason so I asked ' SOOO. Was that before or after u saw bigfoot' and Angie just kind of stared at me. Shes brillant in that way pretending to be a moron ya know to cover up being a jackass while shes telling this big foot story. So she starts on the story again and then from across the room came a shreik of laughter and guess who it is the lastest graduate from the University of Duh.. Arnold Payton.. so he comes over and asks if anyone has seen Sunshine his girlfriend who none the less is just as crazy as Arnold...so he walks away and before he walks out the door he turns and goes ' If im not back in 5 minutes call the FBI' we all look at him like why would we do that... so the party was a crazy one and the egg nog had to much hot fudge but it was enjoyable