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There was no turning back. The plane hit the landing strip, gave a couple of little hops, and settled down to taxi to the airport. I grabbed my overnight bag from under the seat in front of me, and I was ready to deplane. I was amazed that there was no ramp; they actually wheeled steps up to the hatch for us to use in deplaning.

I trudged across the tarmac, entered the concourse and looked around, trying to get my bearings. Ahhh. . . there he was. The driver was holding up a sign with the name of my lodge. "We're waiting for a few others who are on a flight that should land in about twenty minutes," he explained. "If you want, you can wait in the cab out front."

"And by cab, you mean limo . . . . right?" I asked.

"No . . . by cab, I mean really more like a shuttle bus," the driver scoffed.

After what seemed like an interminable wait (the flight we were waiting for was late, of course) the driver got into the "cab" and drove us to our lodge in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. I was there to deliver a presentation on something stupifyingly boring to all except the handful of people who would be present.

It was dark outside as we drove the winding road to the lodge. Nevertheless, we peered through the cab windows trying to make out flora, fauna, and scenery in the dark. "I KNOW I just saw sasquatch!!" I exclaimed as some hairy beast bound by the road and off into a thicket of trees.

"No," said the exasperated driver, "That was an elk. The place is lousy with elk."

We got to the lodge, checked in, and I was assigned a room. I was disappointed to find that, for $200 a night, my room had no television, and there was no cell phone service. In short, I was staying in a hellhole.

The next morning, a woman arrived at the door to my room. She was to see that I got something to eat and made it to the correct room for my presentation.

When I saw her, I was just AGHAST! "You're extremely attractive, you're gorgeous. I'm looking at you. I can't even remember my name."

"What are you? A schizophre. . .a schizodephre. . .a . . .a manic depressive or something?" she stammered. "Could you BE any more annoying?

I could tell that my rapier wit had made its usual impression. As we walked to the lodge, (of course, my room was not IN SIGHT of the damned lodge) and we made small talk, she looked at me in amazement. "Your voice!" she exclaimed. "There's something wrong with your voice. You sound like Daffy Duck!"

"I do NOT sound like Daffy Duck!!" I protested, sounding JUST like Daffy Duck.

Those few lucky conference attendees were spared a discussion of moral rights under the Berne Convention that morning. I, on the other hand, had to suffer the scenic wonder of Jackson Hole with no television.

Dear yahoo asker of question

Dude, "Could you BE any more annoying?" i mean u cant write a paragraph on ur own,"what are you? A schizophre...a schizodephre...a.... a manic depressive or something?. well I do NOT sound like Daffy Duck, but u certainly do, but if i ever saw him i would say, " You're extremely attractive, you're gorgeous. I'm looking at you. I can't even remember my name".

Dude writing a paragraph with this goofy phrases is really easy, cos I KNOW I just saw _myself____ _write one_____. anywayz like u say "IF IT WAS EASY IT WOULDN'T BE FUN"..right?..well i have no idea wat to do with "and by cab u mean limo....right?..so am gonna report it to the english police

Comrade out

lol

i intend, but why would you close on me? i scared of da dark!

btw, I DO NOT LOOK LIKE GOOFY! das affront to me sides. Could you be any more annoying? I just saw ravin and will!! OH LOOKY DER! ooooo he says she is extremely attractive and gorgeous (das what he really calls me ya know)..CRIKY! I cant even remember my name when i see him! and that VOICE! me gonna hafta get a cab, and yes, i do mean a limo! RIGHT? hahaha and it WOULD be more fun if it werent so dang HARD! who you kiddin?

Sadie needed a distraction. She knew she was losing her grip on sanity since her first thought every morning was of… ‘him’. And she continued to think of, well, ‘him’ through out her day! He was becoming an obsession and, no, she couldn’t have that! Her life was well ordered, sane, predictable… until he entered it.

So it was that Sadie was very goal-oriented when she volunteered to help at the mall carnival. She put on a faded pair of jeans and her favorite, albeit a tad worn, denim shirt. She pulled her long locks back and clipped them haphazardly at the nap of her neck, donned her best broke-in pair of boots and set off for the mall… thinking, of course, of him. How he made her feel, his smile, the way his lips felt on hers when he kissed her, the warmth of his hand when he held hers… the… Oh, crap! Almost ran that red light! Whew! ‘Get a grip, Sadie!’ she said aloud to herself. ‘Get a grip!’

She turned the corner into the mall parking lot and found a shade under which to park her truck. She slid out and found the manager of the mall. Judy was a friend of hers and knew of Sadie’s temporary bouts of insanity. She also noted that the frequency had been picking up lately. She beamed as Sadie walked up with her usual smile.

“We need you over there,” she gestured with her head as her hands were busy organizing bags of balloons for the kiddies. “Have you ever operated a helium tank before?”

“Oh sure.” Answered Sadie, somewhat absently. Judy looked at her skeptically and held out a basket of balloons. Sadie took the basket and then took her place by the helium tank. She began filling balloons and tying them, then attaching them to the handle of her basket. Soon a crowd of children began to gather. Sadie welcomed the distraction and began laughing and talking with the children. Suddenly she got the bright idea of entertaining them with a demonstration of what helium would do to one’s voice. She took a balloon and released the helium into her mouth when suddenly a tall figure in the crowd caught her eye. It was… ‘him’! She smiled and said, “Hello!”

He laughed and commented on how she sounded, much to the delight of the children who giggled and yelled for more.

“I do not sound like Daffy Duck!” laughed Sadie, to more peals of mirth from all of her audience, including… ‘him’.

The rest of the afternoon went by in a blur to Sadie. She saw him watching her from a distance. He came by, smiling at her every now and then. When it was apparent that she was wrapping things up, he made his way towards her, a smile on his face that made her have to consciously remember to breathe. Then he just stood there smiling at her with a look of expectation and she wondered what she missed. She was just about to blush with embarrassment when she suddenly became aware of Judy talking to her.

“What are you? A schizophre… a schizodephre… a… a manic-depressive or something?”

Sadie did blush and laughed as she forced her gaze away from… his eyes and said, “I’m sorry. You were saying?

Judy took the remaining materials from Sadie and nudged her towards… ‘him’ with a smirk. “Go on. You’re through here! Besides, I don’t think we can risk any mishaps – our insurance wouldn’t cover the kind of trouble you are likely to get into.”

Sadie snapped her gaze to Judy, stunned and blurted, “Could you be any more annoying?”

Judy was already walking away. Sadie could hear her laughing and mumbling something under her breath. She turned to… ‘him’. Her heart pounding, she was almost afraid that it would show beneath the lay of the fabric across her breast.

He was standing right before her now, his eyes so mesmerizing. She wasn’t sure if she was breathing for her head felt light.

“You’re extremely attractive, you’re gorgeous. I’m looking at you. I can’t even remember my name.”

“Me neither.” She breathed at him. Then realizing what she’d said, she blushed.

“Every time I see you, I know I just saw a piece of heaven on earth.” He smiled at her.

“Come one, let’s get a cab and go out on the town.” He took her hand and began to lead her.

“And by cab, you mean limo… right?”

He laughed. He loved her sense of humor. In fact, he loved quite a bit about her.