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A CHRISTMAS LOVE STORY

Our story begins at the “Cat’s Paw Bar & Grill.” in Las Vegas, Nevada. Gus and Barbie were strangers sitting on adjacent bar stools. All that is about to change. The mood is festive because it is the Christmas season.

“Jeg savnet deg så mye! And I AIN'T KIDDING!!” said Gus to Barbie “But, what does that mean?” asked Barbie “ ... ”I think it roughly translates to ‘How you doin’? in Norwegian, although actually I have no idea. I thought it would be a great pickup line. Is it working?” She answered, “Maybe! I’m still here, aren’t I?”

“Great!” said Gus. “Now answer me this....Do you have any plans for the rest of my life?” Barbie answered, “You don’t waste any time, do you? We just met, after all.” Gus whistled and said, “I know what I like when I see it. And, Baby, you I likee!!”

Barbie responded by saying, “You know I considered the possibility that I might meet someone new when I came into this bar, but you are moving things way too fast. I think I'll just ponder the universe as I drink my Whiskey Sour.” So,” Gus continued, “Do you want some help with that? You know two can ponder just about as cheaply as one--I’ll buy. Tell me, do you believe in love at first sight?”

Barbie ignored Gus’s question, and said enthusiastically, “I just love these sports bars, don’t you, with the multiple screens so you can watch all the games at once.” Gus answered, “I used to caddy for that guy on the screen. WHAT a golfer he is!! He missed the ball and sank the divot. His name is ‘Slammin’ Sammy Snide. I’m glad I didn’t have any money on him!”

Gus asked, “Say, would you like a little snack to go with your drink? They have some bags of chips and crackers hanging behind the bar. How about a bag of ‘Goldfish’ crackers?” Barbie answered, “Gee, I don’t know. Is a vegetarian allowed to eat ‘Goldfish’ crackers?” Gus laughed and answered, “Absolutely! No fish were actually killed to make them. They are just shaped like Goldfish. Bon appetit!” Barbie went on, “Well, then, is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?” Gus answered, “Lions, and Tigers, and Bears! Oh, My! ....... You’re not serious at all are you? You’re just yanking my chain! I love your sense of humor!!”

Gus said, “You know we’ve been getting to know each other all afternoon, and we still don’t know each other’s names. I’m Gus—and you are?” Barbie said, “My name is Barbie—and don’t you dare call me Barbie Doll.” Gus answered, “I wouldn’t think of it. I want to call you Barbie Bailey. That’s my last name.”

Barbie said incredulously, “You are proposing marriage, and we aren’t even dating??” Gus thought to himself, “I'm dating a woman who, evidently, is unaware of it.” To Barbie he said, “How about real dates every night this week, and then we will get married on Christmas Day? We can go to one of the Chapels on the strip tonight to make the arrangements if you like. Tomorrow we can pick out wedding rings.”

Barbie replied, “You are definitely sweeping me off my feet, but first I think you should come home with me to meet my family before I accept your offer. I need a little time to get used to the idea. I just can’t rush into committing myself for the rest of my life on such short notice.”

Soon they were standing in the foyer at Barbie’s parent’s house. “Guess what I'M standing under?!” asked Gus, “And my lips are puckered!” Barbie replied, “I think a better question is, DO YOU KNOW what you are standing under?” Gus said, “Well, of course, it is mistletoe!!”

“Well, now, that’s where you are wrong,” answered Barbie. “It is actually Aunt Jane’s fruit cake. None of us would eat it, so we just hung it up, and put a big red bow on top. We were thinking after the holidays, we would put it outside for the birds!” Barbie went on to say, “However, I hate to let a perfectly good pucker go to waste,” and with that she kissed him.

This Year has gone, John is now singing Jeg savnet deg så mye! And I AIN'T KIDDING !!.

And OH WOW!, I am finally here and Guess what I'M standing under?! And my lips are puckered ! I am waiting for my prince to kiss me but nothing is happening.

I like to go out but Awwww shucks.....All snowed in with the man of my dreams.

Mum thinks I'm a great cook but Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?

I turned to uncle Bill and told him "Your friends are truely a funny gang of people."

The past year I have been ahem.. "dressing up" and I'm dating a woman who, evidently, is unaware of it, but hey, I will keep it going until they find out!

Well... Paul, we went out last night and WHAT a golfer he is!! He missed the ball and sank the divot. ! it was so funny!

Ok, so I am wandering around now, thinking to myself "that star has fallen off of the tree again", but I think I'll just ponder the universe as I drink my Whiskey Sour instead of putting it back on.

Oh my God! Williams Dad just said "You are pompous to a certain degree...Yet quite charming" What is he going on about? I think he has had too much to drink, either that or had to many crepés.

I turn to the go to the loo and John is now in there reading Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

So that's my family, this is my life, and this is the first Christmas I have had with everyone here. It's the last time too!

"Awwww shucks.....All snowed in with the man of my dreams!"(3), yelled a voice behind me. I jumped and span around. Esme had recognized my behind in the hotel lobby. I was bemused as I'm dating a woman who, evidently, is unaware of it.(6)

"Ah, Esme I have told you before your father just needs to make one short phone call and I shall be wearing concrete boots. I can't be seen to welcome your advances anymore!"

"You are pompous to a certain degree...Yet quite charming."(9), she said with a twinkle in her eye.

Now I know she's joking - the only reason my current girlfriend is with me is for tutoring - I'm under no illusions. Esme's eye moved onto my group: the werewolf, the vampire, the two area 51 aliens ,the santa elf and the angel.

"Your friends are truely a funny gang of people."(5), she exclaimed."Anyway, I'm sure Daddy would make an exception this time." She spied the box in the hand of the blue alien." Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?"(4), she asked.

I bit my tongue - I stopped those words about her eating, well I can't say what, (at least not here) and forced out instead:-

"I didn't know you were a vegetarian" Phew!

"I'm not, but I thought you were", she replied.

"Why do you say that?", I said, puzzled.

"Well when we had our first, and only, date you didn't eat meat.", she accused

I thought about mentioning that clam was technically meat but decided against it as she strode to the bar and returned with a drink.

"What's this", I inquired.

"You bought me a drink the first time we met so I am returning the favour. It will warm you up.", she cajoled. Then she peered at my friends. "OK why are there two aliens here, there's only one of each of the others."

The pink alien said, "Don't talk about us as if we were not here. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it"(10) True, the fancy dress party was just starting to get underway. I hadn't had much choice in my costume, still the last son of Krypton wasn't too bad a choice.

But there wasn't even any of those left. In desperation I had put on the Supergirl outfit. I had hoped the sight of this would put her off, but it seems to have piqued her interest more. Maybe she was a fan of superheroines (is that right?) as she was dressed up as Wonder Woman.

"I think I'll just ponder the universe as I drink my whiskey sour"(8), I sighed.

I thought I'd gotten off lightly but no, Esme looked up and then at me."Guess what I'M standing under?! And my lips are puckered!"(2), she beamed. Ah well, I'd better get it over with, I thought, then call her Dad and accept his offer of a job in the family. At least I'll live to see the New Year then...

An Chatroom Story DSRLLOF: Why are you smiling in your photo Oreo777: I smile because i have no idea what im doing Oreo777: And i need a valium the size of your head DSRLLOF: Seems to me your bluffing Oreo777: Sillyme I forget meanwhile ZacEfronLover39: OO this is cozy Ashtisdalerox24: What ZacEfronLover39: my hot cocoa and the snow while that goes on LoveyDove1: Sweet thing i LUVVV YOU! Loveydove2: do you think i have liver spots Loveydove1: of course Loveydove2: im too young for LIVER SPOTS!maybe i can merge them into a tan during that time Boredoutofmymind34: marshall dillon look inside the long branch and said YO! Boredtodeath57: THe mother ship of uselessness is lurking nearby Boredoutmymind34: welcome to my life-random hallways of gloom later GeorgeL7: Ignore Smiley24 shes deranged AngieL8: Hey! Sunshine you aint woman enough to take my man! THE END