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Silva had arrived early for the casting call and was AMAZED that the room was ALREADY full of bad actors and wanna-be's!!

She marched regally to the front of the room, tossing her hair for effect but no one seemed to notice!

The receptionist looked beyond bored and without looking up advised her to take a seat in the back.

Silva had smiled sweetly.

"My that is a LOVELY dress you are wearing...very becoming"

The receptionist looked up at her expectantly knowing there was more to come .

"I am actually a VERY close personal friend of Mr. Spielberg.. in fact, I left him a voicemail, MySpaced him, texted him and emailed his BlackBerry .....Apparently he has left planet Earth.......if he knew I was here...well.... he would def want me to be seen first...before...she looked back with disgust....any of those others!"

The receptionist stifled a chuckle.

"I'm SURE you are right but he left strict orders to have everyone take their turn in the ORDER THEY CAME IN!!"

Silva glared at her!!

"OK!! But He will be VERY angry when he hears of this...and BTW...where did you get that dress?? Missy Prissy's Thrift shop, $3.98?? ..You like can't think that actually looks good on you??"

The receptionist looked ready to kill!

Silva smiled sweetly again.

"Don't git your feathers in a twitter...I was just practicing being obnoxious...and It worked didn't it? ...see?? I'm a GREAT actress!!"

As she went to take a seat in the back she tripped over a large black duffle bag nearly falling on her face.

The dewy skinned blond owner apologized.

"Oh...I am SOO sorry...this place is SOO crowded..I am here for the part of Mariana..You are here for the grandmother Matilda role, yes? "

Silva nearly choked!!

“I am ALSO here for the Mariana role...and next time you come for an audition, leave your makeup bag home..!!"

She shoved the huge bag out of way and kept walking.

An older but very attractive gentleman who had overheard the encounter looked appreciatively at Silva.

“I think we should examine the facts before we start arguing amongst ourselves...after all....a plethora of personalities can be very.....ummmm.... enchanting"

Silva looked from him to the blond and shook her head.

"I think YOU TWO would make a LOVELY couple!!.... Ummmmm.....He looks remarkably like the Creature from the Black Lagoon....ya know...and you.... she stared at the blond...you look like...you could be his next victim!!"

The blond snickered.

"When I am a big star you will STILL be carting your old *** from audition to audition!!"

Silva laughed.

"YEA SURE..Hope floats..Don’t it??"

The blond smiled demurely.

"Yes..Perhaps hope floats...but **** sinks!!!!!

And with that her, the old man and everyone else within earshot started laughing!!

While they were all having a joke at poor Silva's expense...In walked Mr. Spielberg.

The room got VERY quiet...except for the loud thud when Silva hit the floor...she had fainted!!

So Jen and I were hanging out after school, waiting for my boyfriend to show up. I was kind of freaking out, I mean, the guy meeting the bff is a little scary...

'Don't git your feathers in a twitter, silly!' Jen laughed. 'Is he coming or not?! I have to get home!'

'I left him a voicemail, MySpaced him, texted him and emailed his Blackberry.....Apparently he has left planet Earth.'

'Or he's afraid of his new stalker.'

'I'm not a stalker! I'm just being...'

'Miss Congeniality?'

'Shut it. Go choke on your Vera purse.'

'Knockoff! Missy Prissy's Thrift shop, $3.98. You like?!'

'Sure...HEY THERE HE IS!' A car sped towards us, and I ran down the school steps.

'Give me a minute! My hip ain't working!'

I glanced back at her. 'Be good. He's a little differnet from you, so be nice.'

'Yea, yea...a plethora of personalities can be very...um...enchanting!'

'Oh lord...Zach?! How the heck did you learn to drive that thing?'

He climbed out of the Beetle and smiled. 'Can't say babe, can't say.' His voice mesmerized my very soul. 'No worries. See? You just put the key in and shift...Hey! KARATE KID!!! Am I Mr. Miyagi in this scenario, or what?'

'Wait...' I suddenly realized why he was grinning. 'Didn't you say I'm driving home?'

'Yabba dabba doooooooooo, Scooby!' He opened the door for me. 'I trust you can learn fast.'

Jen laughed behind me. 'I think we should examine the facts before we assume something that extreme.'

'Oh thanks a lot, Jen.' I pulled her aside while he transferred his junk from the passanger seat to the trunk. 'So? Cute, right?' I whispered.

'Ummmmm.....He looks remarkably like the Creature From The Black Lagoon....ya know?' She winked. 'Just kidding! Have fun, I better get on my way! And don't kill yourself in that thing!' She walked off.

I heard the car horn honk, and turned around. Zach was in the passanger seat, waiting on me. The driver door was open. I climbed in, and followed his instructions as well as I could. After stalling out 6 or 12 times, we were rolling down the street.

I reached over and punched him in the ribs. 'So, whatcha think? I can drive after all!'

'Yea, you can. I'm rather proud of you. Now just watch out for kids on this road, and- OH MY GOD SQURRIEL!!!!!!!'

It was a dark and stormy night. "I left him a voice mail, MySpaced him, texted him and emailed his BlackBerry..." she wailed into the phone. "Apparently he has left planet Earth." The voice at the other end jabbered something about herbal remedies and psychiatrists. "It's not about ME! It's HIM!" She slammed down the receiver just as she noticed the flashing message light.

She pressed the "replay message" button and his voice trickled out, sounding tinny and far away. "Moira, I know you're gonna be distraught but I think we should examine the facts," he said, "before we start telling the world about this." A bolt of lightning sliced through the windowpane, the soft tap-tap of the rain almost swallowed his quiet reassurances.

"I was going to buy you a dress..." He laughed. "Red velvet, high black collar. Saw it at Missy Prissy's Thrift shop, $3.98. You like?"

("Oh you cheap bastard," growled Moira.)

"But then, Old Jim at the doorstep, huddled in rags croaked at me. He CROAKED! I mean...wow, most of the time he looks more dead than Michael Jackson. [Author's note: I know we all love him but he IS actually dead.]

"Jim said...well, 'Yabba dabba dooooooooo!'"

The message ended there. Moira shook her head, overwhelmed by the perplexity of the situation. Grabbing a hooded pink coat, she dashed out into the rain, leaving the door wide open behind her. She was so distraught, she didn't notice the immensely obese cow in the driveway until she ran into it and then all she cried was, "Get out of the way you bothersome bovine!" She kicked at its haunches.

"Give me a minute," replied the cow amicably. "My hip ain't working."

Moira blinked as the rain kept pouring down. "Didja sprain it while running?" she asked sarcastically through gritted teeth. The glint of orange streetlight on the hood of her black Hummer was enough to make her heart hammer in desire. Just a few feet away...Nathaniel's rescue.

"Can't say, babe. Can't say," answered the cow with a senile nod. It made an attempt to look up at the sky, and she heard its neck crack like a tough boy's knuckles.

Moira made up her mind. She ran around the cow and slid into the seat of her car, revving the engine. Then she proceeded to barrel up the driveway, cow or no cow. "COWABUNGAAAAAAAAA," she roared, "I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT PLACES TO BE THAN TALKING TO A COW!!!"

"Don't git your feathers in a twitter, now," protested the unfortunate heifer, but it was too late. Moira continued, unhindered now, smashing through traffic mercilessly until she arrived at the Witch Sister's Hut in the Effing Dark Woods, a trail of deforestation in her wake.

The creaky door opened at the touch of her hand and a slim, blonde cheerleader type tilted her head and said, "Like, what?"

"Sorceress Britney," murmured Moira. "Change me so I may find my father..."

Britney yawned. "So, like, where is he?"

Moira waved her hand vaguely. "Somewhere in the solar system..."

Britney winked, her pony tail swishing. "All RIGHT then! I know just how to do it!" With a snap of her fingers, Moira became a little black spider with silk wings. "There you go! Now you can fly there! Buh-bye!!!" The door slammed.

And the rain kept coming down.

Hope that works! :D

as quickly as upon a time there exchange right into a scientist named MattBaby. MattBaby exchange into working in his lab sometime with chemical ingredients and located a chemical imbalance. He droped the becur and smoke crammed the room. A rainbow with a face appered and MattBaby named him Sunshine. They grew to alter into acquaintances and sometime on the coastline Sunshine all started capturing lazer out of his eyes. Sunshine acsudentualy hit a surfer and the surfer flew off his board screaming," Righteous, dude. completely righteous." there exchange into yet another scream close to the playground. Sunshine and MattBaby to the rescue!!!!! the only reson that there exchange right into a scream exchange into because of the fact a steel field containing newspapers broke open and the glass shattered. Then they study the call "President-% Obama sent a hand-written thank you word to all the editors of the newspapers for hiding the information approximately himself". They desperate to call MattBaby's lab headquarters. From then on each time a cry for help exchange into yelled they yelled Holy Mackerel!! call headquarters. After 5 years of being heros they moved to a jungle the place they met an odd fellow in a loin gown. at the same time as Sunshine and MattBaby have been ingesting banana's they heard a guy yell Tally-ho, my good guy. They went to confirm what exceeded off. They observed 2 guy with weapons and positively one of them shot a gorilla. Sunshine all started speaking to MattBaby. that's been prayin' on my innovations. yet i in my view like the music i can not get no delight. I easily have by no skill heard of that music mentioned MattBaby. Thats because of the fact that's from the 60's mentioned Sunshine. ?????, mentioned MattBaby. 10 years later they met a clean freak in a retirement abode. His call exchange into Freddy, Freddy had no bones in his physique. Sunshine and MattBaby advised freddy each and every thing, even all their secrets and strategies. Then whilst Freddy have been given unwell he advised Sunshine certainly one of MattBaby's secrets and strategies. Sunshines in basic terms responce exchange into Humph!! He by no skill advised me that!! i'm hoping you like that i used all 10. This took me a at the same time as . And all you people who attempt and thieve areas of my tale, DON"T.

HIDING OUT WITH MADGE AND MINDY

This is the story of Madge and Mindy, a couple of young ladies living in Chicago. They’ve been hiding out from the mob this past week because they were witnesses to a murder that took place in connection with a mysterious suitcase stuffed with bags of a white powdery substance known on the street as “SPEED.” Unfortunately for them, the killer was none other than the notorious Joe “THE DEMOLITION MAN” Banana..

Currently, Madge and Mindy are walking down the street wearing a couple of cheap wigs as their disguises while they look for work.

“Mindy, wherever did you find that dress?” asked Madge, as she deftly stepped around a drunk who had passed out on the sidewalk.

“MISSY PRISSY’S THRIFT SHOP, $3.98.” replied Mindy, while doing a little pirouette so Madge could view the dress from all angles. “YOU LIKE?”

“CAN’T SAY, BABE; CAN’T SAY,” replied the giggling Madge .

“Why not?”

“My mother taught me if I can’t say anything nice, to say nothing at all.”

“Well, Sunshine told me that it brought out the blue in my eyes,” Mindy replied. “She said blue was definitely my color.”.

“Who is Sunshine?” asked Madge “Do I know her?”

“The sales clerk at Missy Prissy’s, of course.”

“I think she just wanted to sell you a dress,” laughed Madge, "but I do remember Sunshine. I saw her out with her boyfriend once. What a hunk! … Tall, dark, and handsome—especially in those cowboy boots he always wears.””

“UMMMMM,, don’t look now, but someone is following us," cautioned Madge. “HE LOOKS REMARKABLY LIKE THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON….YA KNOW he just has to be one of THE DEMOLITON MAN’s goons.....with orders to bring us back dead or alive."

“DON’T GIT YOUR FEATHERS IN A TWITTER!” replied Mindy, while trying to sneak a glance at the possible stalker. "I THINK WE SHOULD EXAMINE THE FACTS BEFORE WE leap to any conclusions. For all we know, he might be just some guy heading in the same direction we are."

“How much evidence do you need?” asked Madge. “Look at that bulge in his pants. Either he’s packing a gun, or he’s awfully glad to see us.”

“I see what you mean,” agreed Mindy. “It looks like it might be time to try out this bottle of LOVE POTION NO. 9 I picked up at Madame Ruth’s."

“How is a bottle of perfume going to save our lives?” replied Madge incredulously, "and when did you have time to do all this shopping that I don’t know about?”

“WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING,” replied Mindy. “Now, my plan is to dab on some of the perfume and then I’ll distract ‘The Creature’ long enough to make him fall in love with me so he won’t kill us while you hit him over the back of the head with one of your high heels. Think you can do that?”

“YABBA DABBA DOOOOOOOOO!” exclaimed Madge excitedly. “Dab some on me, toooooooo!”

Almost as quickly as you could say “Sandra Bullock,” the girls had worked their PRACTICAL MAGIC to “take care” of their stalker.

We leave Madge and Mindy as they begin making plans for their future. “It is clearly too dangerous for us to remain in Chicago,” Mindy began. “Got any ideas?”

“Yes,” I do,” replied Madge. “I was thinking we could disguise ourselves as drag queens and get jobs as bartenders in gay bars…..perhaps in Florida.”

“Sounds like a plan,” agreed Mindy, “but how are we going to finance the trip?”

“I picked The Creature’s pocket while we were dragging him to the curb,” answered Madge. “I figured it served him right for whatever his plans had been for us.”

“Because of my interest in karate, I was thinking I would call myself ‘The Karate Kid,” Madge continued.

“HEY! KARATE KID!!! AM I MR. MIYAGI IN THIS SCENARIO?” asked Mindy laughingly, while playfully doing a karate chop into the air. “Hi Ya!”

“Nope! ...... You aren’t Oriental….. How 'bout MISS CONGENIALITY instead?” suggested Mindy. "After all, you are the one who, if you can't say anyting nice, says nothing at all."