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I live for cashmere. Seriously, it is the most luxuriant fabric on this earth, and once it touches- no, caresses- your skin, no mere cotton or polyester will ever do again. The unfortunate thing is I make 8.50 an hour, and cashmere is hideously expensive. I have made the decision before whether to eat or buy cashmere, pay rent or buy cashmere, and I am not ashamed to say that cashmere usually wins. It's a sickness. I have begged and cursed and prayed to the heavens for sales, clearances, half-price days...anything to bring me closer to heavenly softness. Then one day, just before Christmas, I saw the sign. My heart went "hippity hop hop" in my chest. I read the sign again, thinking my eyes must be deceiving me. No. It was true! "Cashmere, 75% off" the blessed sign read. Not 10, not 25, not even 50, but SEVENTY FIVE PERCENT OFF!!

As I approached the table piled high with the bright, pillowy, fabric I noticed the crowd for the first time. It seemed like hundreds of women were crowded around the table, glaring at each other while snatching precious handfuls like convicts eating in a tension-filled cafeteria. I SWEAR some of these women had done time in the slammer! I could see one, lone red sweater glowing atop the other pastels and jewel tones. I had to have that red sweater. Standing behind the frenzied crowd, I could see no way to my prize. Then the worst happened. I saw one perfectly manicured, heavily ringed hand reach up and grab the sweater, MY sweater. My blood began to boil, and what I can only describe as my basic survival instinct took over, perhaps born in ancient times, when my ancestors fought to gather those last berries of the season to feed her starving clan. My eyes glazed over- I just had a crazy thought. A little bruising, a little bleeding may be worth it. As I sprang forward, all thoughts left my head and I leaped on the back of the offending woman, sending the others back with startled shrieks. Slowly I rose, and I stepped over the fallen shoppers and grabbed the sweater, just plucked it from the stunned woman's lax fingers. Ignoring the gasps, and indignant cries, I walked sedately to the counter and paid for my prize. Outside, I continued on, through wind and ice and new fallen snow, oblivious to the elements, already feeling the silky warmth of my new red sweater on my skin.

I've cryed and begged and cursed and prayed that the stupid shop would open before i peed myself . I needed the toilet sooo bad but it would hve to wait , 90 percent off sale just screams COME GET YOUR CHRISTMAS PREZZIE HERE !

and who was i to ignore it ? . There is so many other people at the door that my faced it pressed against the glass of the shop , and from the look the snobby sales woemen is giving me i must look like the frikin grinch , a little bruising , a little bleeding but what ever , who needs 8 pints of blood any way ? . The battle lines are clearly drawn , The sales people have their deadly wepons at the ready , i can see the most dangerous of them all , the cash register , i shudder at the thought of the receat , slithering out , growling and silently laughing at the shocked look on my face , the scariest thing since my mother-in-law . The Woemen next to me has a beast on a chain , you'll never believe what she called it " a child " uhh yeah right and im alice in wonderland . The beast pounds on my feet hippity hop ! she giggles as she smashes every where below my ankles to pieces . I look up at her mother for help but she just growls, she looks like a sumo wrestler I SWEAR some of thse women have done time in the slammer!. The doors fiannly open and i spot the most goergus sweater ever , i HAVE to have it , my primal instincts take over and i bite , kick and attack my way through the herd . I stepped over the fallen shoppers and grabbed the sweater head to the till . I chewed one woemens arm so bad my teeth where bleeding , the woemen at the till looks at me concerndly nosy byatch I don't want pity...... I just want what is mine. My ears drums are pounding , when she told me the price off the sweater i swere she said Sa¨ª de algu¨¦m atr¨¢s de mim ' !!!! AND I AIN'T KIDDING !!. 90 percent off my butt . Once i'd reluctantly said a heart felt good bye to my cast i walked towards the public toilet Through wind and ice and new fallen snow , a dangerous journey but holy s*** i needed to pee ! .

hehe hope you liked it ! :p

I've cried and begged and cursed and prayed, but there's no getting out of it. I've got to do the dreaded thing and go Christmas shopping. Facing the lines of screaming, yelling women, all fighting to get their hands on the latest things, I nearly cried. Drawing a deep breath, I pushed my way inside the store, consulting my list. I need a sweater for Aunt May. I suddently spotted the perfect red-knit sweater with embroidered cuffs, just as the brunette oppsoite me spots it. Its the last one on the shelf and my eyes narrow, so do hers. The battle lines are clearly drawn. As I fight my way through hoards of shoppers, I would SWEAR some of these women had spent time in the slammer. I threw some women to the floor, eyes locked on the brunette, before I began to tussle with her for the sweater. We swung around and round, but after a little bruising and a little bleeding, I stepped over the fallen shoppers (and the dazed-looking brunette) and grabbed the sweater. Finally, its mine. The cashier looks at me with sympathy in her eyes, but I don't want pity...I just want what is mine. After all that, I figure I'll leave the rest of the list for another day and battle through wind, ice and new-fallen snow to get back to my car, in the furthest lot from the mall. NEVER AGAIN I promise myself