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Intend to give it a go. Don't slam that door on my foot!!!

OK, thanks for leaving the door open. Here is my little story.

I take my pet albatross, Albie, for a walk every night. One night last year we were returning from our walk on the other side of the street from the first half of our walk. We do both sides now so we don’t miss any of the nice shops that have sprung up there. As we walked along, I felt a few drops of water on my head, and then a torrent of rain. It felt just like strange rain as it quickly soaked my clothes, but there was not a cloud in the sky. The sudden rain made me jump into the nearest doorway for shelter. I swear I heard the night talkin’ telling me to hide because something was coming from the Bad Side of the Moon. Not understanding what could be happening, I pulled out the six-shooter Matt Dillon gave me four years ago just in case I need it.

About that time, a disgusting looking witch came around the corner. I knew it was a good thing I did not put down the gun earlier. I was sure she would see me and I would need to use it as she did not appear to be a friendly sort. My albatross and I moved deeper into the shadow of the doorway as she went by cackling to herself as witches are wont to do. It must have been because of the rain and the shadows doorway that she passed by without seeing us, her evil stench trailing her and fouling the air around us. Goosebumps rose on my skin as a sudden chill passed over us.

Do you believe in magic? I never did before that night. But that sudden rain and the “night talking” were surely magic that probably saved my life. When I got home, I stood outside for a while still shivering as I remembered the ghastly witch I had seen. Eventually a friend came by and told me to come in from the cold. I was never so happy to make it back to my warm room safely as I was that night. I never took my albatross for a walk along that street again, as I have heard that there is a persistent disgusting odor in that area that no one can explain.

It was a dark and stormy night when a SIMPLE TWIST OF FATE caused the desperate penguin to PUT DOWN THE GUN, as the ALBATROSS came toward him. The two old birds looked at each other. BOTH SIDES NOW were disarmed. Herbie was first to speak, “I was freezing. I had to COME IN FROM THE COLD. Whose idea was it to dress us in tuxedos and stick us on ice? He has a cruel sense of humor.

( Of course he was referring to the instant reversal of global warming that once again froze the South Pole and returned what was known as the Polar Desert to an icy wasteland. ) “I could feel the metal beginning to freeze on my flippers.” He continued.

Jerry, was silent. The recreation of the gunfight at the OK corral was canceled. “Can’t rely on those penguins” he muttered. The big bird lumbered clumsily down the runway and flew off. Then he circled over Herbie, one onlooker noted that it was JUST LIKE STRANGE RAIN coming down as the big bird flew over him. Having dropped his load, Jerry exclaimed, “I FEEL LIKE A BULLET, sleek and wild.”

Herbie, looking like a frozen, yellow popscicle, broke a beak through the ice to issue a warning to Jerry, “DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?” And he began his incantation.

Jerry, who had hardly heard the threat, thought, “I SWEAR I HEARD THE NIGHT TALKIN’ was therefore a bit surprised when he landed on the BAD SIDE OF THE MOON.

A TWIST OF FATE

“It was but a simple twist of fate that night when you and your sister showed up on my doorstep, and I asked you to come in from the cold,” cackled Witch Hazel.

But Witch Hazel, “I swear I heard the night talkin,” said Hansel. “Gretel did too. We were so scared!”

“Ain’t nothin‘ for you to fret about, child--probably just some ol’ hootie owl, or a werewolf baying at the Bad Side of the Moon, far, far away, replied Witch Hazel. Where is your sister, anyway?”

“Oh, she’s just off in the woods picking berries,” said Hansel. “She was going to meet up with her friend, Little Red Ridinghood.”

“Well, I hope they know enough to stay away from the Big Bad Wolf,” warned Witch Hazel. “I tried to shoot him once, but I put down the gun when I realized it wasn‘t loaded. So, I just jumped on my broomstick and flew away.”

“Do you believe in Magic, Witch Hazel?” asked Hansel. “Well, of course I do, “ replied Witch Hazel. “Why else do you think I am standing over this hot cauldron? I don’t make these magic potions for nothin’!! Let’s see now, where was I? Oh, Yes! Boil and Bubble, Toil and trouble…..Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf…….Fire burn and cauldron bubble…….”

“Don’t you really just sell those for $1.98 a bottle off the back of Paul McPushCartney’s Medicine Wagon?” asked Hansel. “And, your point is……..?” asked Witch Hazel.

“Witch Hazel, there’s a spider crawling on my leg. Can I kill it?” asked Hansel.“ Witch Hazel replied, “Hansel, didn’t your evil stepmother ever teach you anything? Spiders bring you good luck. It is very unlucky to kill one. There is a rhyme that says, 'Those who wish to live and thrive, must let the Spider be alive'."

Hansel then asked, “If you’re so superstitious, why do you let that old albatross keep hanging around here? Aren‘t they supposed to bring bad luck?” Witch Hazel cackled, “That’s just an old wive’s tale, or maybe It was an old sailor’s tale, or an old dog’s tail--one of those--I keep forgetting!!?? His job is to sit up there on the weather vane, but he is so old, he keeps falling off!!”

“Well Hansel, I need to fix up a bit, polish my warts, take my dentures out of the glass,” said Witch Hazel. "It’s not easy being green, you know. I’m expecting my boyfriend, Frankie Stein, to come by pretty soon.”

Just then, Gretel came running into the house. “Oh, Witch Hazel! Witch Hazel! the Big Bad Wolf got Little Red Ridinghood, and now she’s Little Dead Ridinghood!!” sobbed Gretel. “Would it be OK if her ghost came and haunted our house??”

“There, there, Gretel,” Witch Hazel said soothingly, “Of course, she can. I’ve always wanted to live in a haunted house!!

And so, they all lived happily ever after--or at least most of them!!

cool. I don't have a story but I can suggest this to my friends I was looking for pass time too