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DOOMED CRUISE

My husband, Bart, and I decided, after all, to go on a cruise last winter to Bermuda with our friends Susan, “Sunshine,” and Matthew, “MattBaby,” Dillon. We had been a little hesitant to go because the tarot card woman warned us NOT to go on a cruise.

After we had boarded the ship, Bart said, “You girls go on ahead to our cabins. MattBaby and I just want to stop by the giftshop and pick up some cigars.” I was wise to him, so I replied “And by giftshop, you mean, casino…RIGHT?!” “BINGO!!!! Bart replied, “You know us so well!”

Sunshine and I found our cabins, and split up. I opened the door to the tiny space and, “Oh my God! The cockroach from Hell was sunning himself on the window sill in my cabin.” Hate bugs! Hate! Hate! Hate! I took off my shoe to swat it, when it suddenly hopped out the window. “I wonder if it had any friends still in here?” I thought to myself.

Meanwhile, alone in her cabin, Sunshine’s thoughts turned to MattBaby. “Ahhhhhh........... Hot tub, Strawberry Daiquiri and MattBaby. Sunshine!! WHERE is your bathing suit??!!"

Bart and Mattbaby, back from the casino, joined their wives. “Bart, do you think there’s any chance we could find the Captain up on deck, and get our pictures taken with him?” I asked. Bart smiled as he replied, “I doubt it, the word in the casino is that the Captain and First Mate were last seen in the boiler room...... Holding hands.”

“Listen,” Bart said, “Sunshine and Mattbaby are planning a little hot tub action this evening. 'The Poseidon Adventure' is playing in the theatre, tonight. Wanna go?”

“I hope that movie isn’t a bad omen,” I said, “You know the tarot card woman warned us NOT to go on a cruise. “Awwww! You don’t think our ship will disappear into the Bermuda Triangle, do you?” Bart teased. “Well, it’s not like the Captain and the First Mate are tending to business.” I hissed.

Bart’s words proved to be prophetic. We were never heard from again.

Yep I can write one, but obviously you cant.