Verified answer

We interrupt this program with a special bulletin: "Adrian! Adrian!!!!!"

The preacher looked at the congregation and said "I ate his liver with fava beans. sllllluuurrrrpp".

The reason I didn't join your club is because it wouldn't be prudent at this juncture. Not prudent.

The next time you act that way be prepared to ask not what your country can do for you but rather, ask what you can do for your country.

1. We interrupt this program with a special bulletin: Opportunity Only Knocks Once.

2. The preacher looked at the congreation and said, I am not a crook.

3. The reason I didn't join your club is because I have a dream.

4. The next time you act that way, be prepared to...ask what you can do for your country.

1. We interrupt this program with a special bulletin: "The politician who never made a mistake never made a decision.

John Major"

2. The preacher looked at the congreation and said "In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."

3. The reason I didn't join your club is because "I don't have time to breathe, let alone work on anything else. Seth MacFarlane"

4. The next time you act that way, be prepared to "Choose your love, Love your choice. " Thomas Monson

1. We interrupt this program with a special bulletin:

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? All the rest of you, if you’ll just rattle your jewelry. (John Lennon)

2. The preacher looked at the congreation and said "Well, dinner would have been splendid…if the wine had been as cold as the soup, the beef as rare as the service, the brandy as old as the fish, and the maid as willing as the Duchess."

(Winston Churchill)

3. The reason I didn't join your club is because

"An Irishman needs three things : silence, cunnning, and exile." (James Joyce)

4. The next time you act that way, be prepared to

"Remember, anyone can juggle for a second." (John Alejandro King)

1. We interrupt this program with a special bulletin: I'll be back.

2. The preacher looked at the congregation and said "I have to pee."

3. The reason I didn't join your club is because Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care.

4. The next time you act that way, be prepared to give one for the Gipper.

2. The preacher looked at the congreation and said is this chicken or tuna?

3. The reason I didn't join your club is because i'm johnny cash

4. The next time you act that way, be prepared to hit me one more time

1. We interrupt this program with a special bulletin: "The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes."

#1. We interrupt this program with a special bulletin: I SHALL RETURN.

#2. The preacher looked at the congregation and said; I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT WOMAN!

#3. The reason I didn't join your club is because THE GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDEOF THE FENCE.

#4. The next time you act that way, be prepared to BE ALL YOU CAN BE AND JOIN THE MARINES!. (dang! This one was a booger and I may still change it if I come up with something else.)

1. We interrupt this program with a special bulletin: Celibacy is not an inherited characteristic! - unknown

2. The preacher looked at the congregation and said: Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt. - Herber Hoover

3. The reason I didn't join your club is because: brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever. - unknown

4. The next time you act that way, be prepared to: know that it's kind of fun to do the impossible. - Walt Disney

1. We interrupt this program with a special bulletin: ”I am not a crook.”(Richard Nixon)

2. The preacher looked at the congregation and said “If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.” (Woody Allen)

3. The reason I didn't join your club is because "Sometimes, one pays most for the things, one gets for nothing." (Albert Einstein)

4. The next time you act that way, be prepared to “like a challenge.' I don't like challenges. Life is tough enough without any challenges. (Jackie Gleason)

1. We interrupt this program with a special bulletin: He who laughs last didn't get it.

2. The preacher looked at the congregation and said "There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. "

3. The reason I didn't join your club is because everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

4. The next time you act that way, be prepared to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.

Enjoy!

. We interrupt this program with a special bulletin: "Golf Requires Goofy Pants and a Fat ***" Adam Sandler in Happy Gilmore

2. The preacher looked at the congregation and said " I never should have switched from Scotch to Martinis" (Humprey Bogart)

3. The reason I didn't join your club is because "you shot my brother, you dirty rat!"

4. The next time you act that way, be prepared to "say hello to my little friend."