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The children, all decked out in their Halloween costumes, approached the Ad-Nausoleum Mausoleum, House of the Undead.

"Yuk! Ugh! This place sure looks and smells dead. Yuk! Ugh!" said Hector as he knocked on the coffin lid-like door.

The door slowly opened and there stood Count Draculstein MacAddams, chimera of the undead, who said, "Thanks mateys, you all look delicious, but I don't want no bloody treats this year! Gone vegetarian, I have, switched to tomato juice. Get out, or come in and watch old 'A Little Death on the Prairie' re-runs with me!"

The children all turned and stared at the same time. Count Draculstein MacAddams, chimera of the undead, just stood there, laughing like an "I Love Lucy" laugh track, and yelled at them, "That fershlugginer delivery service! I am not Jewish by any stretch of the imagination, I am using a Yiddish expletive merely because none others are permitted in this space! I order tomato juice, and they send the standard daily blood donation! I've sworn off of blood. No wonder I've been sick for a thousand years! Dr. Death, official medical examiner and coroner for the undead, says I'm allergic to blood, and you're blood, but I'm not in the mood, blood, so get out of my hood!

" Wait, I forgot it's All Hallowed Eve! I know what you young'uns like: here's an egg carton full of candy-coated shrunken heads, a 12-ounce bag of salted guts, a big jar of pimiento-stuffed corpse eyeballs, favorites of all the boos and ghouls who come around every All-Hallowed Eve. You ARE from 'The Tombs' next door?"

The children all told their parents about it. One of them called the authorities. When the police arrived, they found Count Draculstein MacAddams, chimera of the undead, sitting calmly in the old house watching a documentary, "Those Bloody Vampires Sure Do Suck" on TV.

[Glad that he had reformed, but still disapproving of his new vegetarian diet-- for this was in the middle of the state of Texoklarizonarkalaskansas where beef reigns supreme-- the cops drove a frozen porterhouse steak through the heart of Count Draculstein MacAddams, chimera of the undead, for good measure smashing his head so flat that bloody brains ran out all over the Ad-Nausoleum Mausoleum, House Of The Undead-- or was it just tomato juice?--- and, for the first time in his death the happy count died with a smile on his face, for, at last, he had done the right thing even though it had cost him his undeath!

"That'll teach Count Draculstein MacAddams, chimera of the undead, to insult the blood from the hood!" remarked the chief, leaning over the unlucky vampire and taking a bite of the raw steak in the erstwhile vampire's heart. And they all-- the undead and the un-undead alike-- lived or died happily ever after, as the case might be.]

The childen, all decked out in their Halloween costumes, approached the _old house at the end of the block_________.

"This place sure looks _haunted______, " said ___Joey_____ as he knocked on the _weathered__ door.

The door slowly __opened, creaking loudly___ and there stood __Cruela De Vil__

who said, "__have you brought me any dalmations for the coat I'm working on?______...

The children all turned and __ran like crazy___ at the same time.

_Cruela__ just stood there, laughing like an _evil witch__ and yelled at them, "_don't come back here without the puppies!!!___."

The children all told their parents about _their scary encounter___. One of them called the authorities.

When the police arrived they found _the good widow Jackson__ sitting calmy in the old house, watching __Oprah__ on TV.

The childen, all decked out in their Halloween costumes, approached the funeral home.

"This place sure looks like the type of joint where we can get some good candy, " said the boy dressed up as Paris Hilton as he knocked on the piddly excuse for a door.

The door slowly flew open because its hinges had been recently oiled and there stood the real Paris Hilton

who said, "Your costume ... that's hot!..."

The children all turned and stared at the boy in the Paris Hilton costume at the same time.

The male Paris Hilton just stood there, laughing like a brainless celebrity would and yelled at them, "I told you she'd think my costume was hot."

The children all told their parents about the real Paris Hilton living at the funeral home. One of them called the authorities.

When the police arrived they found Lionel Richie sitting calmy in the old house, watching that really crappy reality show that Paris and Nicole star in on TV.

The children, all decked out in their Halloween costumes, approached the capital building in Washington DC. "This place sure looks like the building where a thousand indecisions were launched," said Dicky, who had a Nixon mask plastered to his face, as he knocked on the oaken door. The door slowly creaked open and there stood Hillary Clinton who said, "Have any of you seen Bill? He was just supposed to drop that intern off at her house, but he's been gone for hours!"

The children all turned made rude gestures by sliding their fingers in and out of their fists at the same time.

Hillary just stood there, laughing like a hyena with encephalitis and yelled at them, "I will be queen! I will be queen!"

The children all told their parents about Bill riding around Washington while riding another intern. One of them called the authorities. When the police arrived, they found Bill and Hillary sitting calmly in the capital building, watching endless filibusters on TV.

The children, all decked out in their Halloween costumes, approached the drawbridge. "This place sure looks like a castle - cool, " said one of the Scooby Doo gang as he knocked on the drawbridge door. The door slowly, creakily dropped down into place in front of them and there stood Igor who said, "Hump? What hump?" The children all turned and eyeballed Shaggy, making crazy motions at the same time. Igor just stood there, laughing like a crazed mad scientist and yelled at them, "I bet one of you is Abby Normal!" The children all told their parents about the scary castle and mean man who wanted their brain. One of them called the authorities. When the police arrived they found Mrs. Doubtfire sitting calmly in the old house, watching "Young Frankenstein" on TV.