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I have a 6 yr old grand daughter shes the same way.. when with her mom and dad she is uncontrollable, but when with other grand parents and myself she is a wonderful child. The type of personality she has is exactly like my son's, and i have told daughter she needs to stay one step ahead of her. Daughter needs to set a line and let her daughter know where its at and she may cross it but will soon learn what she can and cannot do. Sounds like the same thing here with you and your daughter, you have lines and she knows it and doesn't cross them maybe there are no lines drawn at home one day its ok to do this and the next day its not ok..... That is very confusing for a child. Doesn't sound to me like her family life with mom is very stable. Does she want to live with you? I don't have a perfect answer for your question but i do think as her dad you need to get to the bottom of this, maybe you can help her mom with her behavior, maybe get the child some help. i just reread your question, its hard enough being a child of divorced parents but living with one who thinks someone is out to get them all the time has got to be terrible for her... maybe the nail biting is just a start of things for her, I would see it as a red flag. you can get her tested if you like but i think getting her out of that home would do wonders for her. You lived there and left what was it like for you? You had a choice your daughter doesn't.

If your ex is bi polar and not taking her meds properly she could causing a very unstable enviroment at home. However, you mentioned that she has another child with her boyfriend. Do you have other children in your home. Perhaps this has something to do with it. I do know that children will act out when they don't have stability in their lives. Not saying she has a bad mother but it sounds like she has more to deal with at your ex's home than at yours. Of course she is also ten and puberty is coming on. Mom's and daughters usually beginning butting heads at this point as well. You could also take your daughter to a conselor and get their opinion on the situation. Good Luck!

the only underlying causes of your daughters behavior is she is very stressed for some reason, your wife and boyfriend for one, the reason i say this is if she is happy and well behaved at your place that proves it isn't a physical or even a mental health problem like your ex wife has if it was you would be seeing the same behavior at your house as at your ex wife's so i think maybe you go to your ex and say she is getting to be to much for you to handle let me take her for awhile and give you a break, this child is under some kind of extreme stress at your ex's or she wouldn't be acting up there and not at your house, get that child to a counseling and fast, if her problem was physical, or mental health she wouldn't be able to turn it off like a light switch just by coming to your house, she feels safe there and doesn't feel the need to act out

Doing tests is way out of line--if I was the kid and you tried pulling that stuff on me I'd be disgusted.

Maybe all of the behavior is a way of acting out how she feels towards her mom's boyfriend or even her mother.

I'm fourteen, and I have alot of friends with the divorced step mom step dad situation, and most of them either act out or even running away from home.

If you haven't tried it already, I would simply ask your daughter what's wrong and try to help her rather than send her to a shrink or doing some lame online tests.

Also, as a kid myself-- I bite my nails constantly, I talk back to my parents, and I get into alot of fights with my sister and brother.

It's nothing unusual, just growing process.

A child is go to acted out when people get divorced but it will go away y'all both haft to put her felling in to consecration.

let her know y'all will never stop loving her and will all ways be there for her no matter what.

but all so tell her she cant act this way.

it is nothing mental or she would acted the same at your house.

kid are going to test out and see how much they can get away with.

so just set down and talk with her

i hope this helps

My now 13 yr. old stepson lived with us until a year ago. He was violent, rude, made bad grades. No matter what we did, nothing helped. We even took him to counseling, with no results. His mother wanted nothing to do with him, wouldn't call him and wouldn't let him visit her. One day I told him to go to bed (he has a seizure disorder brought on by lack of sleep), and he punched me in the face. I have had to restrain him to keep him off of me and my other children numerous times. However, every time he went to mama's house, he was a total angel.

I didn't know what to do. My husband and I did everything under the sun for him, but he resented us because those were the things his mama was supposed to do. It sounds to me like your daughter wants to live with you, and maybe she resents her mom's boyfriend for being a male figure in her life. She is just taking it out on everyone. Talk to her. Find out if she is unhappy in her current home situation, and maybe let her come live with you.

My stepson finally went to go live with his mother after a lot of begging, and his attitude has totally changed. She still doesn't do much for him, or spend much time with him, but he is so happy that she has finally accepted him, that he overlooks it all.

I think sometimes a child wants to go live with their non-custodial parent just to see if the grass is greener, and to make sure that parent loves them too!

Maybe she is just acting out with you ex cause she knows she can get by with it . childern are not stuppid they know i have 2 grandchildern that live with me all time they act up and fight all times they can go to there dads and act like perfect angels, they can go to my daughters and act like angels,But they come home i catch the end results,Maybe you and your ex needs to talk about her staying with you for the summer or someyhing see mif that helps? as soon as my son gets on his feet i am gona sign his 2 back over to him, I don't understand the way they act either.

If you think your daughter is having problems possibly related to her mother's bi polar you should take her to a psychiatrist to be evaluated. Her problem may be no cosistant discipline when with her mother so she is seeing how far she can push her, where she knows and accepts her limits with you.

Your daughter behaves like she does at the exs, because she's allowed to and she knows it.

Your ex has no boundaries.

Well, most kids do act better when they are at the visitation house because that is the fun parent. NOt the one that has to get them up for school, get them fed, bathed, make sure they do their homework, make sure they get to the dentist, make sure they get their vaccines, haircuts, sex talk, etc. When she is with you it is party time of course she is fine.