Why won’t he call me his girlfriend after a year?
The guy I’ve been seeing acts like my boyfriend but won’t call me his girlfriend. He does everything a boyfriend does and shows me affection and takes me on dates, but he’s “scared of commitment” and he feels like he can’t give me everything i want. He’s also never really had a serious girlfriend. We talk about it all the time and his answer is always the same. I stated backing off a little and he’s been texting me first almost everyday. I really love him. Do i keep giving it time or leave? He always tells me he doesn’t wanna lose me and he always tells me how important i am to him, but he’s scared of a relationship. I don’t know what to do anymore. I really don’t wanna lose him but i do want the girlfriend title.
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He told you upfront that he doesn't want to commit. This is as good as it gets. Fear isn't what is holding him back. You say he spends a lot of time with you and basically treats you like his girlfriend. The only thing that would change if you made it official is that he wouldn't be able to see other women. He isn't willing to give that up for you. That isn't the behavior of someone who is in love. Cut him loose and move on.
I think you should ask him if he will ever be ready, the bottom line is that you need a relationship that progresses as time goes on. I'm also scared of commitment, but with the right person I'm a lot more open to trying for it. I would say he's had a decent amount of time to at least consider the decision.
Sometimes it takes losing someone to realise how important they are. Maybe you need to let him go. If he can't commit after a year, he may never commit, and honestly I think it's in your best interest to leave. Maybe once he doesn't have you he'll realise what he's lost, but what he's doing is actually quite selfish. He knows how strong your feelings are and he's keeping you on a thread because he's scared to lose you but he's also scared to commit, and you're just expected to be ok with that. You need to think about what's best for you, he may come back to you, or maybe you'll find someone better. But don't hold onto something that's uncertain for the sake of someone else. Your feelings matter too.
You are so wasting your time and energy. Commitment phobes are always commitment phobes. I've seen two of them walk away from their own weddings. Sure he doesn't want to lose you, so long as you don't want any more of him than you have now. Find someone who will invest in a proper relationship with you.
Tell him he needs to put up or shut up. He's stringing you along because he can and because, like a fool, you're letting him get away with this "scared of commitment" garbage. Stop screwing around and tell him that if he's not willing to make you his girlfriend then you're going to walk...and then do it.
Jess, he's had a full year to make a decision and he won't do it, which means he never will. You have made a valiant effort and its not working, so that should a clear sign for you to back away from this guy and just move on with your life. Your going to have to be satisfied with being friends.