Me and my boyfriend was together four years . We split up and was broken up for three/four months. I met up with someone when separated and slept with the guy.
I bumped into my ex and we got speaking and tryed to give it another shot. He found out I slept with someone when we was broken up and he was upset. We are still together now it’s been four months together now and I asked him “what does he want for our future “? “Do you want to get married one day” have children “ and he said “ do you think am an idiot to get married to you and have kids with you” he said if you loved me you wouldn’t of done it. Why is he back with me if he doesn’t see a future with me ? Sometimes He throws it in my face what I did. With sly comments. All i do is cry. What should I do ???
Answers & Comments
Let's sit back and imagine all the porn he's watched and didn't once think of you...
That's right.. He's not worthy of your time.
A man is going to treat you the way you let him. You are putting up with him torturing you for something he has no real right to be upset about. You were broken up. You were a free agent, same as him. Are you sure he didn't sow some oats while you were broken up? Friend, life is too short. If God forbid something happens to you tomorrow, look at what your last chapter on earth has been when you could have spent that time happy and with another of the GAZILLION men out there who will not be cause to break up with in the first place. This man is never going to let either of you forget your past, he will never fully trust you again, and your life with him is going to be sly comments and crying. Is that what you want, how you want to live? Not saying this guy is a jerk or anything, just saying maybe its time to confirm it wasn't meant to be and move on. Life is too BLEEPIN' short. Good luck to you :)
It looks to me as though he’s punishing you, I’m guessing he was the one who initially ended the relationship? Are you certain he didn’t already know before you reconciled that you had been with another man? There could be many reasons for his appalling attitude towards you.. maybe because you were moving on, it could maybe have been he met someone else briefly (if he ended it with you initially) that didn’t work out so he decided you were better than nothing. Without knowing the finer details it’s hard to conclude but personally if my partner said to me “do you think I’m an idiot to get married to you and have kids with you” would tell me he’s only using me as a stepping stone to something better.. I could be way wrong but it looks to me as though he’s no intention at all of committing to you and the minute he got a better offer he’d be off like a shot..
Unfortunately I’m speaking from experience, I’ve been in a similar situation before and it didn’t end well. My heart got smashed
I don't know. I really don't.
LEAVE now please
He's only using your sexual encounter as an excuse for avoiding commitment to you. He's giving you a clear signal: It's time for you to move on.
Think about it: He's been with you for many years and knows how to manipulate you. Give him an ultimatum if you want, but I think you should move on.
Break up and stay single for a while as you work on yourself. You will NEVER find the right person if you are not able to leave the wrong person. If you are strong enough to leave the wrong person, you will eventually make room for the right person to come into your life. But you have to be strong enough...
Who broke up with who?
It sounds like he is hurt about what you did and is kind of attacking you for it.
Why dont you try and reassure him that the other guy meant nothing and that you do love your boyfriend. It sounds like he is scared of getting hurt again and is dealing with it in a rather disrespectful way.
He should be apologising to you for being rude to you and acting like he doesnt want you in his future. When you asked him that question an appropriate answer from him could of been "i do want kids one day but im worried you will hurt me or dont really love me. Can we talk about this first."
He is with you because he cares for you still. And wants you with him. But is struggling with the fact you "seemed" to move on quickly from him. And views this as you dont love him anymore. That's his point of view and line of thinking.
Maybe reassurance is all thats needed. Would you be upset if he slept with someone during the break?
He is being very uncaring with that comment and should apologise to you though. I would be telling him that "since you said that to me i feel like you dont love me or care because if you did you would want a future with me"
Hope you sort things. Good luck.
He sounds like an idiot. I think he took you back to remind you of what you did and to make you miserable because he knows that you loved how good he was to you before and now he's getting back at you being a douchebag. It's like he's taunting you i think you need to just break up with him for good because he needs to know that you're not gonna be with him just so that he can make you feel bad. That's the complete and total opposite of what's supposed to happen in a relationship. You guys weren't even together when you slept with someone else so its not like you cheated on him. I get its not nice to hear when you still care but he's getting more mad than he should about it. It could also be that if you did that before he got what he wanted from another girl then he's probably jealous that it didn't take you a long time. Sometimes people get jealous over petty reasons.