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You've gotten some really good answers here.  My only additional comment is you said nothing about what caused the break up, and whether the issues that contributed to it were fully resolved when you got back together.  It also matters who initiated the break up and who initiated the process where you got back together.  A break up is obviously a very big deal, and after 4 years, it's kind of unlikely you resolved your issues in 3 short months apart. 

If he won't even talk to you, I think it's time to get angry about that.  It would be very different if this was a break, but with a break up, what you do isn't his business.  But that may not be the only problem you 2 have.

Move on with your life. He is being childish. If you truly loved each other you would not have broken up. Reality is harsh im sorry to say. 

Do you have any goals?

Regarding myself I have goals I would like to accomplish. I already accomplished a certain amount of goals in my life, and I still have more goals.

I am a single male, and I am in my thirties. I know what I want to do with me life. How about you?

It sounds like you need some professional counseling to help you talk through all this. It's often available for little or no fee through health insurance. Almost everyone needs counseling at some point in their lives. Maybe he will eventually be willing to come along.

Could one or both of you possibly be confusing having the feeling of being "in love" and true love?

Here's some information about love from the books True Love Lasts, Straight Talk About Teen Dating, and Straight Talk About Dating:

“Unfortunately, lots of people don’t know what true love is and that’s a big reason why a large number of marriage relationships are unhappy. Many people think that true love is just a feeling. You know, the wonderful head spinning feeling of being “in love.”

If true love is just a feeling, feelings come and go. But true love doesn't come and go. True love is patient and kind. It isn’t jealous, rude, selfish, controlling, or easily angered. It forgives. It’s supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. 

Unlike the feeling of being “in love” which is relatively easy to get especially during dating, true love usually develops slowly over a significant period of time (often years). In order to develop true love for someone you really have to know them well – which means that you have had a chance to observe their behavior in all types of situations (pay special attention to how they react when things go wrong or they don’t get their way). True love is so much more than just the feeling of being “in love” - it’s supposed to be a mutual lifelong commitment. When you say that you love your significant other, you’re saying that you’re committed to loving them for the rest of your life - for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, from this day forward, until death do you part. True love lasts - it almost never fails.

Think of it this way, if a person has true love for another person, it’s like the sun - it’s always there no matter what (remember that even at night, the sun is still there, it’s just shining on the other side of the earth - and when it’s cloudy outside the sun is also still there, it’s just behind the clouds). 

On the other hand, the feeling of being “in love” is like sunshine - even though we’d like it to be sunny every day, the truth is that the amount of sunshine changes regularly. Some days it’s nice and sunny and the feeling of being “in love” is strong, on others it’s partly cloudy and the feeling of being “in love” is there but it’s not very strong, and on other days it’s cloudy and the feeling of being “in love” is barely there at all. I’m hoping that this explanation is helping you to see that it’s possible for a person to have true love for another person and not have a strong intense feeling of being “in love” with that person at a particular moment. (If you talk with married couples, I think they’ll tell you that the strength of their feelings of being “in love” changes regularly.) 

So when you hear someone say, “I don't love him or her anymore” - take it for what it usually is. It’s usually someone saying that they’ve lost the feeling of being “in love”, that they don’t know how or they’re not willing to make the effort required to get the feeling back, and that they probably never had true love for their significant other to begin with because true love almost never fails. 

Many times I’ve heard young women say, “my boyfriend loves me.” Unfortunately, most of these women have been fooled. How could their boyfriend possibly have true love for them if their boyfriend doesn’t even know what true love is? Sadly many people marry when one or both people don't have true love for the other - and the result is usually divorce because it's hard to keep a marriage together when it's based only on the feeling of being "in love." 

My first suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already). A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), puts forth their best effort, and displays self-control (of their body, anger, tongue and money). 

It’s going to be tough, but my second suggestion is that you break up with this guy in a kind way unless he’s a strong person with whom you feel you could one day develop mutual true love with, and eventually look for this type of guy (otherwise you are setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of man is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.

(Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)

Hope this helps!

Well why did you tell him. Those are things that you need to keep quiet to your self. I slept with girls when I had a break from my ex 

“...but now he knows.” So how did he find out? Is he hurt that you slept with someone else or that you didn’t tell him? Because if you talked about getting back together and didn’t mention it, that may have made him feel like you were trying to deceive him. Those are two totally different things. Either way, you have to just let him process it and make a decision on his own. The more you try to force it or overcompensate, the more you’re going to push him away. 

If it makes you feel better, I did the same thing to my boyfriend right after college, and his friends said the same thing. I apologised and waited it out to make it clear that I didn’t want anyone else. We got back together and dated 2 more years before we got married. 4 years and 2 babies later, we’re still going strong. So time does heal in one way or another. 

No couple is "made for each other", a relationship requires conscious effort and cooperation. Love doesn't magically solve everything or justify tolerating mistreatment. Though nothing you describe is the behavior of people in love. Your boyfriend isn't interested in doing the work to fix your problems and be a real partner to you. It sounds like your relationship has just run its course. The break didn't fix anything, and hooking up with another guy gave your boyfriend the excuse he needed to end it for good. Groveling, begging and apologizing for things you didn't do won't make him love you. Accept that it's over and let him go.

never, ever share that info....EVER.....now you know why....

If you truly do love him, simply let him know it... which I am sure you have.

But if he wont even talk to you, there really isn't much else you can do except ask him if you guys are "done" being a couple or whatever... and if that is the case, move on. But this time REALLY move on, no more re-do's or patch ups.

If he still wants to be together, tell him you'll give him some time to work past his hurt but that you're not going to let him hold this thing over your head any longer.

At the time, you had no expectation that you were going to get back together when you slept with this other guy and it's not like you did it to hurt him... it's just something that happened.

He needs to get past this or it will just keep leading to spats and arguments.

And if he really does think his friend is right about you "using" him, ask him to demonstrate that claim.

Lastly, try to keep a calm level head... avoid letting things devolve to shouting matches and pointless arguments, and if you guys can't work it out then you need to consider moving on.

Relationship breaks are so f*cking dumb. Breaks are "monogamous" peoples way of trying to cope with their inherently polyamorous desires, without having to admit that they're not monogamous and that monogamy is just hurting their relationship. According to the mono-normative narrative, taking successful breaks in monogamous relationships should be flat out impossible, so why does everyone take them? It's almost like people know that they aren't inherently monogamous and are finding excuses. These relationships with periodic "breaks" are just open relationships given another name.