Here's the situation -- Gertrude used to be married to my friend Sam . Sam and Gertrude are divorced and they have a twelve -- year -- old son, Ben . Ben lives with his mother . Gertrude has diabetes, and she doesn’t take care of herself . People with diabetes have to be careful about what they eat, and Gertrude eats whatever she feels like eating . She’s teaching Ben to follow her example . Ben’s overweight, and it’s affecting his health .

By the same token, Sam has high blood pressure, and being overweight and eating whatever he feels like eating won’t do Ben any good in that situation . Ben visits Sam on the weekends, and he’s all concerned about Ben’s health, but we all know eating good two days a week isn’t going to undo the damage Gertrude does . Sam believes Child Protective Services ignores everything he says, so he doesn’t think it’ll do any good to go that route .

Our friend Lacey needed a place to stay, so I let her stay with me . Ben and Lacey used to get along really well . Lacey gave Ben a lecture about eating right and good nutrition, and Ben’s feelings got hurt, so Ben and Lacey aren’t friends any more .

First, I heard that Ben’s going to get diabetes because his mother has diabetes . Next, I read that Ben isn’t necessarily at risk . A friend of Sam’s told him there’s a ninety percent chance that Ben will get diabetes because his mother has diabetes, so now I don’t know what to believe .

When Lacey gave Ben a lecture, she showed Sam what won’t work . Most twelve -- year -- old boys don’t like being lectured, and preaching at him isn’t going to turn him into a health fanatic . Ben doesn’t really seem interested in taking better care of himself .

The rules in "Yahoo ! Answers" say I have to ask at least one question . NOW -- Is Ben at risk for diabetes ? What can Sam do for Ben ? Can Sam do anything for Ben ? How can Sam deal with this situation ?